Sex

yukiteru_amano @yukiteru_amano
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Sex
yukiteru_amano @yukiteru_amano
So normally I would *NEVER* make a topic about this, but it's so funny (kind of) that I just can't keep it to myself.
So lately my man-part has been hurting like crazy, especially when it gets "bigger".
Finally I went to see a doctor about it (embarrassing...) and they start asking me a whole bunch of weird questions.
Do you take pills?
How often do you take pills?
How much are the pills?
Do you have sex?
How often do you have sex?
How many partners?
What are the genders of these partners?
...
It went on and on, I was really hoping I was on some reality TV show.
That didn't happen...
Eventually they take a lab sample and when I go back into the office, one of the nurses are laughing.
At this point I'm really hoping it's a TV show, but they try really hard to bring it together.
So they explain to me that the reason why my man-part hurts, especially when it gets bigger, is because I'm having too much sex.
TL;DR : the parts inside my man hammer are stressed out, so they make it hurt so I don't use it. And when it gets bigger, it hurts even more because on the inside it's screaming "For the love of god! Take a break!"
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a man whore or anything, and I don't "play the field", but I guess I do have quite a bit of it ...
I thought they would make a masturbation joke, but apparently that was the first thing they addressed.
TL;DR : the stem and glands are identical from tip to base, from prolonged fatigue of equal measurement. Masturbation would cause stress joints erratically from tip to base.
So not only did they have a laugh, they were able to pin-point my sex life.
Kicker of the story? My primary care physician was so sorry for laughing with the nurse that she paid my Co-Pay out of pocket on the spot, so the visit was free.
You'd have to had been there for full effect, but it was funny as hell.
So I decided to share. :o

Sub @sub
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Sub @sub
Absolutely hilarious. Best thing to do is laugh it off. At least doctors are bound by confidentiality so they probably won't tell anyone!
Also credit for actually going to the doctors I know people who have had issues down there but refuse to get checked out due to embarrassment

xxx @__removed_uguubox
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xxx @__removed_uguubox
i'm not sure if you're bragging or not

cabbage @donnierye
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cabbage @donnierye
This is a problem that I have never experienced.
I probably never will.
Such is the life of a NEET hermit.

yaasshat @yaasshat
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yaasshat @yaasshat
I'd say this is bragging, but good job bruh. Ya broke it... I used to have sex up to 6 times a day and I never had any kind of pain. In conclusion, you're doing it wrong.;P

r0BSCEÑ0 @robscene
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r0BSCEÑ0 @robscene
Even God rested on the 7th day :3

Bleh @verucassault
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Bleh @verucassault
This sounds like the start of a really bad/awesome porn.

yukiteru_amano @yukiteru_amano
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yukiteru_amano @yukiteru_amano
@sub it wasn't funny for me until i got home, but i can laugh about it now
@maidcafe slightly bragging, but probably only 40%
@donnie you never know, i didn't even get my first kiss till i was 17
@yaass lol... you probably got me beat on daily amounts, i don't go that far, but besides that, it's not broken, it still fully works, it's just over-worked, like when you go to the gym, and you work out REALLY good, and after you get home, you have "THE HURT" for a while, where you new muscles coming in need time to take a break and relax
@robscene like i said, it's not like i man-whore where i live or anything, i don't have a wife or a long-term girl, but i guess until i find the one for me, my tendencies hop from semi-long relationship girl to the next - we didn't get into it at the doctors office, but my PCP said that i might want to refrain from "risky positions" in the future
i'd assume she thinks i do BDSM in a Red Room like 50 shades of grey, but idk if i'd say i'm THAT kinky

Arc @arc
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Arc @arc
Well, if you ever need me to sub in for you, let me know bro. I'm there for you. I'll take it upon myself to be your sex double.

xxx @__removed_uguubox
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xxx @__removed_uguubox
please be my sex double Arc
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