MaiOtaku as I see it

At 24 years old I certainly havn't seen the world and all it has to offer, yet I feel that I should share the lenses of my glasses to hopefully contrast some of this negativity that people feel in their hearts. My name is Ryan, like the rest of you I am an otaku. That is what this website gives you, a platform where we all know we share one interest. Not that we like the same shows for certain, or that we feel the same way about them, but it does give you the comfort that everyone here shares the interest. Why is that important? It is important to us to know that we can be honest about ourselves in one way, a way most dating platforms and sites do not give us. The problem is many of us, new users and old alike, do not take advantage of this shared playground. We make silly threads, we goof off, we have good times...but is that really enough? Or are we just putting bread crumbs out there hoping for someone else to find them and lead them back to us? I believe everyone on here to some extent wants a relationship. Before anyone gets up in arms about me making a generalization I will clarify. Yes I am making a generalization, the generalization that we want companionship. We want someone that will listen to us and either let us open up to them, or them open up to us. We do not necessarily crave the romance of the century, or a romance at all, but I do believe we are all craving someone that we can let into our deeper, more vulnerable places....and have that not only be ok, but safe. Perhaps it is just the nature of what is said on the forums, but I have not really experienced many men or women that are putting themselves out there very much. It seems like we are all uniformly scared to be the first person to ask someone to dance. What is the harm? He or she could say no. Your love letter could end up crumpled and sent to the delete bin, or your feelings could not be appreciated the right way. That is just you sign from life, that this person was not going to be the one you open the door for. How are we to experience if we do not put ourselves out there enough to learn? Some people may be reading is and thinking "But Tessa, you havn't put yourself out there. Why should we take you seriously?" I am putting myself out there with this....declaration. This statement to all of you, not only for myself but for all of us. It is ok to get your feelings hurt a little, we all want friends, we all want understanding, we all want a network of people that cares. Some of us like having a small network, some of us like it larger, some of us really only want to be paired with one other. Floating around and not letting ourselves network to anything will only result in nothing though. I want to make friends, I want to find a partner, and I want to share the otaku lifestyle with someone. These are my wants, my needs, and ultimately what I desire overall. This thread has been titled "MaiOtaku as I see it" so how do you see it? Do you see it as time for you to say what you want? Time to put yourself out there so you can possibly meet someone that can understand more than your pictures on the forum? Or is it time to stop reading and ignore this thread and discard it from your mind? The choice is yours, and I welcome all replies. This is a place of understanding, and of warmth for those who want it. If anyone would like to be my friend, or would just like to talk with only me...then message me. None of us are psychic, if you like what you see you gotta take that first step....we may not have seen you yet. I encourage everyone to share their experiences and frustrations. This is a thread for all of us, not just me. ~Tessa

After reading this thread for a few times, I understand what you mean and agree with your declaration. How I see this site is pretty much similar to other forums I've been to before. The only difference is that there is a bit of the dating portion. From my experience here, I talk to people but after that it just dies off or I get ignored. Of course, I could just talk to more people but it just happen again and again so I pretty much stopped because I don't want to waste my effort into trying to connect with another. I'm not desperate but it's nice to make friends and connect. However, it's not working out for me.

The old addage "Try,try again" always helps. Eventually something will stick and you will end up making lasting friends here. I'll be your friend if you like :3

I make an effort to get to know people well enough to meet them irl because online interaction isn't really fulfilling in the long run. Of course you have to be picky unless you are rich enough to travel all over meeting people. I'm leaving in October to go be closer to someone I want to know better.

I think the line between in person and online grows thinner as technology advances, although I do agree a relationship will not develop properly without the ability to build a life together. I do not find myself discarding the potential of meeting my future partner and companion in life online. It is a location that has people. More people than a grocry store, a bar, or any other localized locale can offer.

I can certainly see how you could rub peoples more sensitive areas. I wouldn't say that it is your personality at face value, just the choice of wording. Being oneself is everyones right and I don't mind your delivery of things. Relationships can be friendships or romantic relationships. We all want something though, otherwise we would be in the corner with a chip, a napkin, and...that other thing spongebob had.

I think one major thing that's often overlooked, not just on this site, but throughout dating in general, is the importance of giving someone a chance. I think a lot of people are way too caught up in chasing an ideal that they start to snub anyone who doesn't 100% fit the ideal in their head, and then wonder why they're single. Couple that with the social inexperience common among anime fans, and we end up with a population of people who are hesitant to even send someone who interests them a message, and then are likely to drop off contact not long after because the image in their head doesn't match the person they're talking to. A lot of us are outside our comfort zone, even on this site, supposedly surrounded by people who share our hobbies. Everyone's expecting someone to message -them,- so they don't message other people. Both men -and- women are guilty of this. This is why people get hurt when things don't work out. If a relationship doesn't end up working out, not only is that time spent building that relationship lost, but more time must then be invested into looking for another partner, and if nobody else is giving you a chance, it can very quickly become a long, dull, and painful process.

I can certainly sympathize....as well as relate on a personal level to that Anubis. Personally I just had a partner of two years walk out of my life. We had built a life together, and even bought a house. The sense of loss you feel for not just the time, but the memories does not really have a comparison. In my case I have treated the experience as just that...an experience. Something that taught me what I wanted, what I was and was not looking for. Not everything can do that though, nor should they be expected to. Personal sharing aside, it seems it is only human to generate a beautiful picture of a person we find interest in. If we invested our energy instead into trying to make them real, we would likely talk our fledgling feelings out of it. I have created this thread so that hopefully through my actions, others will start sticking their hands out, and like the little otaku we are....hand someone that love letter. Will we get denied? Certainly. Will we find that our feelings can make us miss the mark in our evaluation of a person? Guaranteed. That is the beauty of social interaction and the quest to finding not only a partner, but friends as well! We are all looking, but in order for us to find we must be willing to reach our hands into the pile...and pull something out. I shall continue to reach my hands outward, searching through this rough, so that one day I might find my diamond to call my own. Something that I always keep in mind though....she may just be reaching into that pile herself looking for me, her diamond as well. One day one of us will find the other, but while I am not necessarily looking for a relationship or love right as of this very second....I...as well as us all...am looking for that person until I find them. So roll up your sleeves fellow otaku. Roll up your sleeves and dig for that happiness you desire, you may just find the person digging next to you is the one you are looking for.

I certainly agree with everything you said Tessa... And above agreeing, I understand what you are saying... May this community give you, me and everyone involved a chance to explore their interest with others!!!