Your friend is a racist, now what?

A friend I've known for several years ended a recent blog with an overtly racist comment, and it hit me as this is what this person is deep in her heart. Somewhat surprising because for as long as I've known her she was always one to speak out for and champion race and gender issues, but now she just comes off as petty and superficial as most of her social media has been, which again is something that she opposed when I knew her in person. It's as if her subconscious is broadcasting her true self. The only thing I can do about it is to just let her fall off as someone I once knew, or thought I did. What would you do if you faced the same situation?

First, ask why? I mean, if it's all of a sudden, what made the change? Second, My answer would be based upon their answer. People slip for all kinds of reasons on all kinds of issues. Is that a good excuse? No, but it's not bad to at least know where they're coming from.

Does her saying that really affect your relationship? I understand that you might not want to be friend with a racist but is it worth losing her as a friend? First things first, if I were you, I would ask her about it and explain that it shocked me.

I don't believe it affects our relationship as such, we were a lot closer when we lived in the same city but drifted to much more casually after I moved as usually happens. Something I guess I'd blocked out is that I've seen (and listened to) her turn on some of her friends back then, usually over some minor, perceived slight. This hasn't been the first time she's posted something racist or sexist, but for whatever reason this time it really hit home for me. About two years ago I asked her about a racist and sexist comment she made. No response from her and she edited out that part of her post. I did the same this time as well with the same results. The pattern has been there, although not always as blatant, so the thought has crossed my mind before. I guess it fully sank in.

If a friend of yours becomes toxic to your lifestyle, I think it's better to space yourself from them or cut ties with them altogether depending on the severity of the situation. I know that may sound harsh, but in the end you gotta think about yourself and surround yourself with people who encourage you. You can't let others bring you down.

Now is your friend racist or were they raised by racist people. I know people raise by racist people will say stuff with no weight behind their words because it's something they grew up on. Like I was raised by racist people. And sometimes I say stuff that might sound racist but it has no weight since I don't believe in it. Yes I will curse out other races, but only if the person is living a negative stereotype or they have a positive thing that I am jealous of which I will state. Normally if it is the negative one I will state "God, why do you feel like meeting negative stereotypes, your race must hate you!" Racism is taught. Even if you don't believe in it, if your raised with it, you will speak like it.

Trahe... Ah, so just say "fuck it"? I mean, if I was raised a certain way, surely I'll be like what or who raised me even if I don't "believe" like they did? Meh...I suppose some just need a cop out. Things like racism are not like genetics. You can change your thought process. Also, stating anyone as being part of a "separate race" is racist in it's self. We are collectively the human race, not races.

Sounds to me like she is at least a closet racist. I'm guessing she needs someone to really confront her about it and tell her it is wrong and offensive. Her willingness to at least edit out the racism in her comment shows that she either respects you as a friend or knows deep inside that it is wrong. I think you can help this friend change.