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Learning Life Lessons, But Not Fast Enough

doublezero
So recently I became lonely again. This happens tome from time to time and I have been learning to manage it. At the rate I am going, within 5 years I should have it under control, but that really isn't the point here. What I really want to know is how to better seperate my emotions from clouding my thoughts. I feel like that is my biggest downfall when it comes to relationships, emotions get in the way and then I become this bumbling idiot who wants to have things happen a certain way and is too afraid of rejection and end up hurting myself (emotionally) and getting depressed from it. But how do I not? This is what I have been trying to solve recently. But as I am not fully back up to full operating potential, I am here, searching for input. I am a thinker... well an over-thinker, and I think that is part of the problem. But it is not so easy to just stop and not think about things, especially when I take pride in being able to think out and understand situations.(NOTE: emotion will get in the way and cause my overthinking and assumptions to go into overdrive and can really cause great misunderstandings, which is really bothersome. I am kinda a perfectionist it seems.) I have however, recently found out through better eating, sleeping, and starting college again, that When I pile work on myself, I am happy. I have to pile so much work that I don't have time to think about other things. In this way I never have time to worry or feel lonely, and instead feel very acomplished at seeing what I can acheive. However I cannot sustain the pace mentally. I find I will get burnt out after some time like this, and have to remove the mental stress for a bit to recoupe before I hit it again with that same tenacity. But when I do relax I have to relax so much that It allows room to think again and causes the lonelyness again. (Well not exactly, more of a close friend of mine gave me a nudge to be brave and confident, and that I should hook up with one of the numerous beautiful girls at my school, (not bragging, just stating the situation which I will explain the relevence shortly) with this I took the time to think about it which ended up with the loneliness feeling and having dreams (I don't like dreaming in general) of ex's, and remembering my mistakes and failures. And with the useless thinking of what ifs it made for a no fun time.) So with this whole being surrounded by beautiful girls, I am outside my confort zone by quite a bit, my natural introvert starts showing and I have no clue how to proceed. So in order to not be a creeper as it easily comes off as (atleast in my head) I refrain from taking any action (however it seems that doesn't help this creeper issue when I think about it), I guess this issue come both from a lack of confidence and fear of failure and rejection. So also, I have found myself being considerate to others feelings and not wanting to leave someone out (here I go trying to be the good guy and not ignoring someones feelings and hurting them. ( Am I subconsciously trying to go for the harem ending or something?) I guess knowing the feeling of being ignored makes me more conscious and carful with it.) I find that I try to be the good guy, but can't seem to pull it completly off, or too well and just end up as the friend. Getting used to the balance takes time it seems. Now I have been learning how to be a functional human being and a functional part of society. Though I would have liked it if I was already there. I still want better control over my emotions so I don't have to keep falling back to whatever my amigdala tells me is a good idea. And not overthinking is a skill that has proved annoying to control. So since I am tired from work and can't really remeber everything I wanted to say, I leave it here for others to give their input. I have another topic or two to write about in other sections, but that may be for another day. I look forward to your responses.
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