Things, and stuff too.

Well I am bored this morning at work. Wow what a statement! Now since I, for some reason decicded that staying up till I am getting 5 hours of sleep every night for the past week is reasonable, I woke up to go to work this morning and had my first thought of the day: I can't wait to go to bed. It is comfy there and would really like to stay. (ok random segway time, if I can remember what I wanted to say) Now I find that I am a snuggly person who sometimes really just wants to share a bed with someone and be snuggly with them. Now also with this, I find I just want to care for someone. When I am focused on someone that I am interested in, I find I try to do everything I can to care for them however I can. I am not a total pushover but with certian people I am. I would bend to universe for them if I had to, but I am not really talking to them anymore. I wonder if this is the thing that seperates the people who are able to not emotionally invest themselves into someone and kinda ignore them vs most of the new people to relationships and some of us. This skill of controlling how much you need to or should care about someone. Now with this I find that I seem to have a need to care for people and maybe not through doting on them and spoiling them. I am really bad at relationship things and probably need someone who can let me learn. But I have turned to my friends and have learned to care for many people in small amounts with them. I am crazy and take on the financial responsibility of our rooms when we go to Otakon. I know most of them will pay me back immediatly but I see no reason why others should miss out due to have a hard time with money. I suppose I trust them to know that they won't purposly use me for my kindness. I get joy from making them happy and being able to share the experience. Our group is growing each year we go now, just makes thing more expensive and complicated. Now I would love to take all of you and book a whole hotel for all of you so you can go, but sadly that is a bit out of my control as I don't have a cash supply that large. I enjoy caring but know I have my limits. I also wonder sometimes why people are so cautious of just doing things, realistically I find myself trusting of the goodness of people. And I would be fine with just kinda randomly doing things with someone and being snuggly and intimate with them as long as I can trust them to trust the goodness in themselves and me the way that I trust the goodness in myself. "Believe in the me that believes in you" I fear being someone who turns out to be someone you can't trust the goodness of. And that way, I keep myself in check. But do not mind when others keep an eye on me every now and again too. I suppose I wrote this to say some thoughts I was having and expess myself and see about what people think about it. I know a few people will have some great insight, but worry some of you will not see it quite as nicly as I do. But hey I suppose that is part of why I am posting, oh and sort of a roundabout way of finding someone like me.

Ah someone to cuddle in bed. Isn't that what body pillows are for? http://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx219/bakamon/11.gif

Step 1: Make a pillow that hugs back. Step 2: ? Step 3: Profit!

Hmmmm... This sounds crazy, but it just might work! Unfortunately I don't have the knowledge on how to design that so I am at a loss.

A daki that hugs back? They got you covered. http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/9/2011/06/500x_hugpillowarms.jpg

Hmmm well this is not where I was thinking this would go, but that is what makes it fun! If we are going to start using silicon, why not just make the whole thing out of it? They have gotten the flesh texture down pretty well from what I hear. (I once designed an entirely functional computer that would look and feel human, all in my head, all I needed was the AI for it. I haven't gotten that yet, but maybe soon ;D)