Self Improvement

I think that type of thing is all about compromise if your in a relationship and it depends on they type of person you are. For me i like to try and stay fit but i don't necessarily think i should push some one else into doing something they don't want to do. I might ask if they would like to come with me to spend some quality time with me because i like having company when i go to the gym or go on walk/bike ride/ whatever but its not because i want to change them its because i want to spend time with them. the only time it would bother me is if the weight was causing health problems. then its only natural for you to want whats best for someone you care about because then its not just affecting them its affecting you and the relationship if they wind up sick or in the hospital. as for other superficial things well if you decided to be with a person you accept them for who they are and who they are not. you cant expect some one to magically change into a run way model just because your dating them. as for the college, job,etc it really depends on the person, its good to want to encourage and better your self and support your significant other but unless they are wanting to truly get up and get moving then you have to accept them for who they are if you cant handle it then they arn't the right person for you.every body is going to have their quarks that they cant change about themselves because that's what makes them who they are. its all about compromise when it comes to the relationship small ex: if you have a habit of popping gum and it irritates your significant other is it really that hard to stop popping your gum around her/him?that doesn't mean you have to stop doing it all together just around them. on the other hand if they are asking you to become something your not such as asking you to change your entire personality etc. then the person your with isn't really seeing YOU in the first place. they are only seeing what they want to see. i think if people want to better themselves they should if not well then don't. as for if they'll be left all alone .... its a really big world and i'm certain that there is someone out there for everyone the problem is that if you cant compromise on some of the smaller things then its going to narrow the playing field by quite a bit.

I think the answer is authenticity from both parties: When a partner wants me to change something, I look into myself and ask, is this a change that I want? If I agree with them, I will change, not for them, but because it makes me a better person and they helped me or challenged me to grow. If I want a partner to change something, then they look inside and ask if that change is true to their beliefs and values. If it's something I consider part of my identity and don't want to change it, then I won't. Same for them. The base line is if I can't make myself happy, I'm in no business making others happy. No one wants to live a lie. The stuff we won't change the other either learns to accept or we lose resonance and part ways and move on being happy ourselves.

I don't think you should change anything, if your SO asks you too. I mean, if It was life threatening, I get it. Like smoking or drinking 24/7. But that's because they care. If they don't like you for who you are, why would you lower yourself to their level, and change? So, you have bad teeth? Or acne? Maybe you are balding, and it's embarrassing to you. I feel that if you like someone, or feel strongly, you grow to love all imperfections that may come along with you. Now, if you want to fix yourself because YOU want to. That's entirely different. No one is perfect, and people need to realize that. Don't let yourself be dragged down by someone superficial.

I'll make this brief. Yes. Yes because self improvement will naturally attract people therefore raising your chances at finding that person. Improving oneself also has the side benefit of making life better. So you should do it anyway.

Hmm I will add my thoughts. I will say this much self improvement like Rou said is pretty much a beneficial thing for you. As long as that is what the partner you like wants from you. If it is personal things such as change your personality to be completely somebody different, then no. I look at self improvement as simply improvement nothing more. Sure I am going to get my feelings hurt when somebody says I should do something better or change something that is not specifically me. However it will help out in the end. As for me wanting to change somebody else unfortunately I cant say that. I will give a example, if a person I was dating was very unhealthy so to speak and that needed to be changed, I would motivate them to do so. However that would be only to help them. I cant find it in myself to change a person regardless of who they are unless its to help them specifically and not take away from what makes them who they are. Still thats not entirely the right thing is it. Should we accept something about a person even if we know that person is fully in pain or suffering because of it. Or should we try to change that person to help them. Even if it labels us as negative or simply a person who cant accept somebody for who they are.

Self improvement is a journey and not a destination. I think we should always try to improve ourselves. The main thing is that you have to learn to be happy with who you are now, even if you plan to improve. I will give you an example concerning myself. I'm a fairly rotund guy. Right now I am working on losing the weight (12 lbs so far) and getting healthier. I admit part of the reason that I am doing this is to be more attractive. But I feel that it is only fair, as I tend to be attracted to slimmer women as well. At the same time, I don't feel there is anything wrong (other than future health concerns) with my being a fat bastard. I would never date someone who said that they would only date me if I lost weight, just as I would never stipulate someone lose weight for me to date them.