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What started it all? I dunno, I just didn't want to live anymore then found something to live for. Enduring is what I am good at. I have a huge military family and we are always on the front lines, I am even related to one of the 4 marines who raised the flag on iwa jima. I just thought that I would life to endure so others do not have to. Many strive to be happy in life but I strive to go through hell so no one else has to. I have my pride so its not all bad. I can give you an example of how my day usually goes haha. Today I picked up a 39 year old male who's wife drove for 26 hours straight to get him here and he has a very rare disease where the iron in his blood attacks his brain causing his entire body to feel pain beyond any imaginable torture so he just screams and there is no cure. His father died at 47 from it and there is a 95% chance that both his teenage kids will get it when they are older as well. So that woman has to watch all of her loved ones go through such horrific pain and then bury them. Another call was to a 7 year old girl who was allergic to bee stings and got stung and her airway was swelling up and the treatment for anaphylactic shock is an epipen and we didnt get there fast enough so all I could do is hold her as she looked up at me expecting me to save her cuz I am the one who is supposed be able to but nothing I could do but watch her life slowly slip away and her eyes get wide in panic as I just held her hand till her strength faded. Just an average day. Not many people can last doing emergency responder work for a long period of time so thats what I live for because I can handle it physically and mentally better then most. Those are not even the bad calls, Iv been on waaay worse ones.

You're so noble! Ahh! But that's true, it's easy to forget though. So easy to get wrapped up with what you yourself want. I'm glad to hear that you've turned things around! That's so inspiring! So what really started it all, huh? That's such a great story! You should try to find some happiness too though! Okay, good :) Thanks! Hope work goes well for you! Talk to you later!