o l i

i just left that group chat. if im just being ignored then there is no point in me being there.

lmao even saying a "happy thanksgiving" in this damned group chat they still ignored me. i might as well leave this stupid thing. they wouldnt notice, why would they? they dont care about me.

my sister did this thing where she pulls cards and they tell me whats going on in my life and what my future will be like and most of them were accurate and im scared now and its changed my perspective on life and like i should actually start working on things and working hard like what

turning 18 in a month. my youth is fading faster then i expected.

when i say "go ahead and ignore it" its a subtle way of me saying "please pay attention to me" i dont know why i do that bc it just makes me more depressed when people actually ignore it and dont figure out the subtle "please pay attention to me"

sadness is a great inspiration if you have enough of it. which i do.

is it sad that i slept under my desk last night to see if i could maybe get inspiration. i dream about my cat being locked outside and a russian dog protecting it from predators that lurked in the forest.

oh yeah i got my act test results back. i literally failed every single topic lmao. i cant stand all these damn failures im having consecutively its really starting to piss me off and make me even more depressed then i already am. im lowkey on the edge of buying a rope and putting it in my closet for future use.