What you've done now is a good first step, you really shouldn't keep feelings like that all to yourself, talk to friends, people who wouldn't mind lending you a shoulder.You shouldn't dwell too much on the past.It's good to remember and miss close ones and old friends but it's bad to let it destroy your life, plus it's not like you're never gonna get in contact ever again, you can still message them online or talk on the phone.As for your boyfriend, don't let it get to you, i'm sure he's happy to give you a helping hand when you're in a situation like this Hope you get well soon x