Suicide

I’m not “targeting” anyone. This is the only otaku dating site I know, possibly even the only one that exists atm. I just posted my views on this matter because I want to find like-minded anime fans, a friend, maybe a girlfriend. I neither promote nor condemn suicide. Saying that ending your life is a human right and saying that people who do or consider it should not be degraded is not a “promotion”. I wonder how long do we need to go in circles in this thread…

Read your own posts from post #1. Youll understand why and if you don't... at least others do. Seriously. The pride you have is blinding yourself from seeing what youre actually saying and its ridiculous.

"at least others do" The only one harassing me in this thread is you. If you think that there is something wrong with my posts, feel free to report them and stop repeating yourself.

Lol. No one is posting because I'm clearly the only one on the forums so far on these forums who has the balls to say anything. Ask anyone the forums and they'll agree. I'll play the Devil's Advocate. Nah, reporting them does zero justice because the Admin is not active. I keep repeating myself for that exact purpose.

Let me start of by saying that I do not condone suicide. That said, I don't see it as an easy way out. I personally have attempted several times between the ages of 12 and 16. I was a self harmed for many years. I've been sober for the pass year and a half. Life is frustrating. I know. My dad married a woman when I was 4ish and up until this past march, I was physically, mentally an emotionally abused by her, her mother, her son and many people in my home town. Including the cops. She used the fact that my real mom isn't the greatest to beat me down. "You're just like her" "you'll neer amount to anything" "ugly" "fat" "stupid" and so on and so forth. I admittingly had anger issue at the time so I blew up often. I've been told to get out and when I left I got the cops called on me for "running away". CPS was called on her multiple times but each time they dismissed my case after talkin to her once. Even after documenting bruises and othe injuries. Black eyes, scratches, I've had a broken nose and a cracked rib before. Both went untreated. I was unable to rely on the system for help and it was suffocating. I was admitted to two different facilities twice for one and one time for another. After that, I was told that if I tried again that it was jail. No more hospitals. Jail. Whether or not that was true didn't matter. My friends and many teacher knew. But they couldn't do anything about it. The reason for telling this is to illustrate as to why suicide is (at least was in my case) a thought that seems really good. It can now be seen not as an easy way out, but an only way out. I am out of my situation, but it cost me damn near everything. My dad, my little brother (who has told me straight up that he hates me now) and my niece who looked up to me. I have also lost my job, I couldn't stay with them due to traveling. I lost most of my belongings which included my car. I lost my ability to attend my college again due to traveling. Again, I don't condone suicide. But I do think that some of you who are posting an talking like its the most horrible thing you could do should know what it looks like from the other side of the frosted glass. Neither side is easy to see from the opposite side. But if want to, it's there.

Life is beautiful, You just have to find the beauty in it. The way us humans live have dulled it out and made the world and life look like a burden to have to deal with..But in reality it shouldn't be the way don't look at it that way..There are many beautiful things that are innocent in this world and wish for your happiness..What is the point of ending it all? You don't know if you will be ever given the chance to 'Live' again. So you just rather melting into absolute nothingness a never ending sleep that you will not be able to dream. You will just become a memory and so early.. I can't imagine not being able to close my eyes and listen to music, Not being able to watch the sunset or star gaze, Not being able to taste yummy cakes and enjoy it or sleep in comfy blankets and dream happily and wake up in morning's gaze. Not being able to laugh out loud or play perverted pranks on my friends.. Even the littlest of things.. I couldn't imagine just ending it all over a selfish desire that you just don't want to DEAL with it anymore. YOU should know better. And I think you do. Because when someone wants to do something, THey SET There mind to it. Humans are only hesitant and asking questions when they know deep down inside its WRONG. And not something they actually want. If you wanted to suicide, you would of have done it along time ago without even asking anyone. So take this as a little voice from your subconscious as saying " Don't do it. " Endure it, There will be a light at the end of the tunnel..It may not be viewable now but don't assume it doesn't exist.

I'm an atheist. I believe that when you die and that's it. Game Over. No Soul, no afterlife, just fucking oblivion. Which in point makes life a completely pointless and cruel joke. But I don't want to die. I'm afraid of not existing, of just not waking up one day and all that is me is now gone. So if you're like me, stop with that defeatist fucking thought process and check out my threat titled, "Bettering Yourself."

As someone who lived with chronic depression for more than half my life, the last year and a half of which fighting with suicidal thoughts.. I know what it's like to suffer from those negative thoughts. I'm just thankful to the the stars above that I found something that changed everything and took the pain, depression, and suicidal thoughts away. For each person, finding the light in all that darkness is difficult.. and each one may find that light in something different. I found the light in music. Music kept me going through all the difficult trials of my life, so I never stopped listening to it and constantly searched for something new each day. Any new song that would lift my heart and lessen the pain.. drowning out the negative thoughts in my head. What most people don't realize is that for someone suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts, they are their own very worst enemy. Anyway... back to what I was saying before. One day.. My search for something new lead me to a song I never expected. That unexpected song lead me to a K-pop band that I'd never heard of. It was their Japanese music that I found first, but that's not important. The important thing is that the second song of theirs that I listened to changed my life forever. It was the miracle that changed everything for me and now I'm the happiest woman in the world. The depression and suicidal thoughts are gone~ I've been set free. The lyrics in that song were the words I had been waiting to hear my whole entire life and that was the trigger I needed to change everything~ The thing people need to realize is that the change needs to first start from within. If someone does not wish to be saved, you can't save them. They need to wish to be saved themselves. They need to want to change themselves. I learned this the hard way. You can't do anything for someone who does not first want help. If you find someone who is suffering, first get to know them. Show them you are there for them if they need you, but try not to pressure them. They need to feel safe with you before they will open up their hearts to you. Only an open heart can be guided towards the light. Anyway~ Enough of my philosophical mumbo jumbo. I hope I at least got my message across..