Confessions

I confess that the cord with Julie has finally been cut completely and now I am attempting to get on the fast track to filling the void that has been created.

. Not a good plan, but best of luck.

Well even before I met her I was losing the happiness that I had because I was content but I felt like I was lacking a purpose in life. My happiness kind of seems a little pointless and I kind of figured that it was because I didn't anyone to share my life with which was something I always wanted though it was something I wasn't quick to put much effort into. When I finally got her I realized when I was truly missing and so now I'm aware of how much I was actually missing rather than just having an abstract idea. I realize that it's not really a good idea because usually that leads to rebounds but I don't really have the skill of the social graces to be very successful in the dating world and I'm not one for one night stands so it's not like I'm really going to get anywhere. All things under the sun it is possible, I could find someone next week but realistically and with how long it took me to find scarletpom on here who was my first real romantic interest I don't expect much anytime soon. I'm not really worried about rebounds in that case because the long and the short of it is that I don't think I'd have the confidence or the Graces to really find somebody anytime soon. Partly because there aren't any other free dating websites that support searching for someone with anime or geeky habits and like I said I don't feel that confident in myself or in online dating to feel like paying for a membership would be worth it.

No need to revive old stuff, but if I were you, I'd not even consider putting in effort just yet. You CLEARLY still have things to process/deal with and it would not be in the least bit fair to place your need for happiness on another. You need to understand that relationships are not bandaids and it's very selfish to think your happiness must derive from another. Find your happiness, but don't put that burden on someone else. You can not force happiness, you must seek it for yourself in ways that provide true growth. You seem like you're seeking a "feeling" or valdation and that is not healthy at all. Value yourself and think.

Was I Reviving old stuff? All I meant was that I had been happy for most of my life without somebody whereas most people were looking for someone in their high school years I was content without someone. Then I got to the point where I kind of wanted to have someone to share my life with and that was the one thing I was missing . I actually did some thinking on it and then I realized that what's the point of all of my video games in my anime and all these things that make only me happy if I don't have someone to share it with. It was an a immediate decision it was something I thought on for a couple months. I won't deny that I currently do have things to process and that creating the flirting thread is clearly a way to make me feel better and forget things. Correct me if I'm wrong or feel free to provide some more insight but isn't it true that there are plenty of people who are happy with themselves or were happy with themselves but they reached a point where they knew what they were missing was spending their life with a special person despite having all the things that already made them happy.

. I understand wanting a mate, it's natural and partly in our DNA. However, you seem to place a huge amount of value on finding one and a huge amount of value on thinking that's what will make YOU happy. I can't say what's on your mind or how you actually think, I can only comment on what you say and form an opinion. If I were to for some reason, lose my fiancée (Break up or whatever.), I can honestly say that I would not think or consider trying to fill that void right away . To me, it'd seem selfish to think that someone else should be responsible for making me happy. Sure, they could add to it, but if I can't find happiness on my own, I'd need to reevaluate my priorities and figure things out for a while. There are MANY unhappy people in relationships who are afraid to leave because they put so much into believing that's the best they can do. You live at home? Do you go to school? How's your transportation? How're your bills? How about work? How's your social life? These things ALL have a huge impact on fulfillment. (No need to answer, just think.)