Confessions

I keep getting told by my VA doctor that I should of never should of been able to join the military because they're pretty sure I'm autistic but at the same time I keep ditching or refusing to follow up and do an actual diagnostic so therefore I am never in the wrong.

Autistism is a misunderstood illness. Every so many decades they discover what autism really is and how it affects an individual's thought and body mechanics. Some people with autism have minds that can process information so fast the body can't keep up. Others do appear to be emotionally incapable of interacting with other people in a social setting, but again it may be an overstimulation of another's words and actions that causes miscommunication. In any case, I don't think autism alone should prevent an individual from military service. On a parallel to this conversation, as a child I was put through several remedial classes because I had been diagnosed with a learning disability. It was minor, but it has to do with my ability to store information. Many would call it scattered brain or even ADHD, however mine is more complicated. To this day if I get overstimulated with thoughts in my brain I have a habit of involuntarily moving parts of my body. It can get embarrassing if someone comes upon me unaware as they will freak out by my random movements. My only counter to this nervous tick is simply to empty my mind of thought. This empty mind process unfortunately means I can come across daydreaming or airheaded. Often I have to move slow while thinking so I don't lose control of my body. It's an interesting problem for sure. Luckily I don't have it while driving as any task that takes my full concentration prevents my body from acting out. It's when I am idol for a period of time that I am most vulnerable. People that don't like pacers or leg shakers are my natural enemy. Often they misunderstand my need to do that as lacking discipline rather than a means to prevent me doing something far more embarrassing. However explaining my situation is impossible for someone who doesn't have the condition to understand.