Why are "fat girls" like me so unattractive??

my last two relationships crashed and burned and kinda left me with some broken pride, because they both told me they didn't think i was attractive. one of them only even dated me cause i was the first to ask. i know i'm pretty fat but am i THAT big of a turn-off in society because i'm big and i can't help it? i'm not trying to be a bleeding heart to get attention, i'm just asking a serious question

Fatness is just not a very attractive thing to the general population, male or female. Its just how people are wired. Though there are certainty guys out there that find bigger women a turn on , even more attractive than say someone with an hour glass shaped body.

You're not unattractive. You're just not attractive to people who don't like overweight women. Consider it their loss and keep your chin up. This is something you're going to deal with your entire life, because people are attracted to different things in the first place, contemporary society puts a lot of pressure on everyone (especially women) to be thin, and some people aren't nice about it. Knowing virtually nothing about you and assuming that your weight is something you can't control, my general advice is to love yourself and accept that this is who you are. If you love and accept yourself and carry yourself as if you truly feel attractive and sexy as you are, more people will pick up on that and treat you that way. Some won't, of course; don't waste your time with them or in being upset that you don't meet their standards. Guess what? They don't meet yours either. You *will* find someone who sees more than a "fat girl" when they look at you.

I think for a lot of people, it's a sign of unhealthiness which can be a turnoff. Now, there are some people legitimately due to either genetics, metabolism, etc. who just can't lose weight. That being said, there are a lot of people out there who can legitimately do so with just some lifestyle changes and can, with hard work, change their bodies. Unfortunately, the former usually gets lumped in with the latter and it's human nature to make snap judgements without getting to legitimately know a person and their circumstances. For those who can, It's easier said than done admittedly, but it can be very rewarding for those who are able to and legitimately make those lifestyle changes <br> <br> I'm not exactly the pinnacle of the male species either. I'm 5'8 and 185 and could probably legitimately lose about 10 or 15 pounds at least. I'm sure I've been interested in a girl in the past who was pretty thin, and took one look at the slightly doughy looking gamer and was immediately turned off because I don't hit the gym on a daily basis.

I think it's fair to ask yourself, if you were a guy, would you date yourself? We're animals and when it comes to "Mating" in the world, animals usually look for what they think is attractive. Attractiveness varies from individual to individual but I think what people settle for is what they think they're worth also. Essentially standards. Obviously I don't know you but losing weight is always something a person can do. The hardest thing about it is work and it takes a lot of determination. In the end, you are who you are, if you want to change physically, do it for yourself and not for others.

I know some people wound get this comment as a good thing but eventually you'll find somebody that will want to be with you

"Obviously I don't know you but losing weight is always something a person can do." If you'd said "usually" rather than "always" I would be inclined to agree. But some people are simply genetically inclined towards obesity. You can give them a physical trainer and a diet to follow, and that may or may not help a little, but they're never going to be a size 12. It just is what it is. This, however: "In the end, you are who you are, if you want to change physically, do it for yourself and not for others." Nothing but truth.

I've known people who were "genetically" inclined towards obesity, if you will, and have worked their asses off to look pretty damn good physically. The problem is all the hard work you have to put yourself onto. Dieting is hard and difficult, even more, keeping the routine of working out. I used to be able to eat everything and not put on a single pound because of my metabolism, then it tanked at the same time of my 1st break up and i put on MASSIVE weight. My metabolism sucks but i have to workout to maintain myself physically. Weight is indeed something one can change. You don't have to be a size 12, that's the problem every girl has. Some are just naturally big boned but aiming for a size that is unrealistic is going to lead you to self destruct. All i can say is, until you have worked out and put in work and lose weight, you will never understand how much determination those people have. I don't care if they're conceited now or not, i've earned a great deal of respect to people who work their asses off to look better because it's not easy. By the way, scientists have said that Genes are not and cannot be a reason for obesity. While Genes do take a part in it, i'm almost pretty sure Genes are accountable for 1%-7% of actual fat (body mass index). I was a health major for awhile. BTW lol.

a few factors one media portrays even healthy weight to be fat and for extra weight to be unattractive two scientificly men like a women who is thin becuz they believe the sex will be better becuz she can move easier and in different positions (Manswers told me that one, weather u knw it or not guys u do it :P) three they think big women r unhealthy and unfit to bare children four men think big women r unhygienic (which is so untrue) I hate the stereotype with big women being fat ugly pigs but big men being big boned. there was a study shpwing men pictures of overweight people, the men were simple called fat or heavy or big, the women were called cows, fat, ugly, dirty -_- (true study)

That's a hard question, but why do you think? Society nowadays portrays being overweight as being unhealthy, and being unhealthy means not being a good candidate as a mate (if you want to be technical about it). There's also the media too that contributes to all this. In the olden days though, being overweight was a symbol of being wealthy. It was sought after. Nowadays since people can eat like royalty (meats and sugary foods), being overweight now isn't so much of a symbol of being rich anymore. I don't know your circumstances, or your situation, if you really can't lose the weight because of medical problems, but if you have none of those super rare medical conditions, then it might be a good idea to lose the weight (if you're not happy with it). Losing weight is definitely not an easy thing to do, but it's definitely possible. Now I'm not just being a hypocrite here, and I haven't been the weight I am today all my life. I was always big boned, but when I turned seven I started gaining a lot of weight due to personal reasons. I wasn't majorly obese, but I was definitely some 30 pounds heavier than I should be. As I got older and I could see that guys didn't like me that much ( I didn't either, so I don't blame them). Although slowly with making the choice to lose weight I lost it, or at least most of it. So I know how hard it is, and I'm not just preaching something I haven't had experience with. I'm actually still working on it, but I can say that if you make the choice and you put in the effort you can do it. I think it was good that you didn't keep those two men in your life. They weren't good people for hurting you so much. :/ Keep looking and you'll find someone who's deserving of you. Best of luck. :3