Do you have to be attractive to find love theses days?

Dude, im filipino. I get the asian thing. I also get overlooked by the anime commmunity over here because of my dark complexion and mistake me for something else. And im doing some running first to slim down so the later part will be more efficient (sports/health nutrition graduate, but was a short fat kid growing up too heh) already dropped 20 pounds with stretch and running exercises, and now since my weight is stablized where it cant go down with general workouts its time to start on the hard part which pinpoint what I want to work on, so im very confident in how I look. The problem here is that everyone where I live isn't comfortable with how I look. Think I can help that? I do what I do and see who co es my way. And screw all that BMI chart noise. That thing can't judge me! (Just putting that out there)

So you're judging all other Asians because you're overlooked by the Anime Community? You suddenly think because you're not being treated like some people that you feel the need to put it on others? And all this time you knew what you were looking for and what you're aiming for? Lol. You say it like you're the only person who has a problem with how people see you on the outside. I have my problems too but you don't see me complaining. As a matter of fact, I know i definitely know a lot more about girls dating Asians in general than you do and trust me. All this bitchin you're doing because you think you're singled out, i can make you look like a complete idiot. You still don't sound confident at all to me, and if you keep on aiming for the whole Kpop/Jpop thing, you won't get anywhere. I'll just tell you this, at the rate these girls are liking Asians and the way most Asians are taking advantage of these girls, lol trust me, there won't be any Asians to be liked anymore. You should be more afraid of girls liking Asians because of Media, than you being overlooked.

Okay, you can preach confidence all you want, but its all in whoever and you can't just order someone to have it. I grew up with my issues of relationship problems (hence, a site like this) and maybe I didn't grow up in a place like yours. I get judged constantly over how I looked. And I didn't even bring that jpo/kpop thing up in my last post, just my workout regime. Anyway, I get mistaken for anything else that isn't asian. Oh well right? Maybe its time to move (too conservative over here) so I don't have that problem. You know alot of girls dating asians. Good for you. I saw alot of my friends move away from here to start families. Im sorry what goes on here contradicts your views but unfortunately it happens here. And that's what I grew up with.

Of course I'm going to preach it because the way a person carries themselves also meshes with their physical attraction. No one is ordering you to just "HAVE IT" which is why I told you to not focus on trying to look like your typical Kpop/Jpop star. I keep mentioning it because that seems to be your biggest issue because from what I've comprehended is that unless an Asian has your typical Kpop/Jpop look, you're not going to get any attention. You keep talking about how you get judged and constantly overlooked and i'm telling you that every Asian goes through the same exact thing lol. And trust me, whether someone knows your Asian or not does not mean you're going to get a girl. You keep on believing that if people didn't overlook you, you'd get a girl because you're Asian aye? But at the same time if they knew you were Asian, you wouldn't get one because you're not attractive enough right? Seriously, you keep complaining about what goes on there and you have no clue that the majority of Asians go through just as much shit as you lol. You think that's an issue? Wait until you run into girls who won't date you because you're specifically not Korean or Japanese. Stop trying to look for a girl who likes ASIANS and look for a girl who likes you for you. You keep going at the rate that you are and you won't get anywhere and you'll definitely run into disappointments.

Dude, im not looking for specifics, just acceptance. Im sharing my experience, which may differ from yours, but hey its a forum. It doesn't happen here, though I press on doing what I can do to improve myself, which is the whole purpose getting someone. Growing up here is rough compared to the northeast but its not like im gonna stop and give up. I hope you get what im saying, but its just more effort here in contrast to a more diverse place like in the northeast, which is the only other time recently where I did hook up with someone less judgemental. I know everyone goes through some sort of discrimination, its just rougher in certain places. And that will bring the topic into something else completwly different so let's end that here. Looks, yes. People may not approve, but endure and keep going, even if venting is a way to help. Hopeless doesn't exist but learn to have lots of patience if you gotta cuz sometimes its alot of waiting for acceptance based on looks. After the hard part is done, personality is the harder part. Im done sharing my experiences with looks and how im working on them, and being me. Don't mistake venting about experiences for giving up tho.

I agree that the way a person carries themselves is important, but I also think that a significant proportion of the population profiles other people. There are other factors that on a case-by-case basis could override those profiles, such as being funny, smart, rich, etc. For one reason or another, most people have relationship problems. Some people have more problems dependent upon how they look & behave, money, where they live, and so on. Finding someone who "likes you for you" isn't always very straight forward, due in part to these profiles. There are plenty of people who simply overlook possible matches because those people don't fit the profile they seek. I think RS43 feels like he doesn't fit anyone's profile. While I ultimate think he does fit someone's profile, there are some profiles that people dismiss more often than others whether it's due to media, personal bias, parental influence or other factors.

Acceptance for being Asian? What do you gain for people recognizing that you're Asian? I hope you know that if you continue to think like that, you're going to hate it once you finally reach your goal of " Acceptance ". There is nothing worth bragging about whether a person can tell you're Asian or not. And how would you know that growing up there is rough compared to the North East? Have you lived here? I'm originally from California and Arizona by the way, I moved to Maryland last year so your assumptions of me living in a region with diversity is completely wrong. Keyword here "ARIZONA". And I grew up mostly in Northern California where there was hardly any diversity. My whole point is that you're venting out your experiences and saying that unless you're an Asian with specific features, you're doomed. Which is completely untrue. Like i said, quit looking for girls who like Asian guys because it'll only lead to disappointment. Obviously you're working on yourself and that is great but don't fixate on these girls because in the end... most of them will only date a Korean or Japanese dude. And when they find out that you're neither, they'll brush you off for one. Good Luck.

Again, I'm looking for acceptance for being me, and having them look past how I was born, but looks are what people see first, and people naturally judge. I live in a half-assed backwater town in SC, where people will judge you based on if you look like them or not first, then what part of town you live in to judge your status. The group I was talking about? I only went to one of their functions and was pretty much shunned because I looked more Latino and not like what they expected what Asians they believed looked like, which was based off of Kpop and anime. Really stupid people. And it was a constant thing. Being Asian isn't some sort of super power, but people seem to judge and look for things when you really shouldn't. In my case, I'm not tall and slender like they see on TV, and consider me something I'm not. That's fine, screw them for thinking so. Doesn't mean it didn't happen. I mean, damn if I don't look like their favorite anime character, I'm a fucking blast! Once again, I'm not looking for specifics, which means I'm not looking for girls who are looking for Asian guys. What I'm looking for is acceptance from other people to see who I am in general, not being Asian or any specific Asian. The thing is that people use their eyes first to judge whether they want to bring on anything or not. And what they see first in me is not what they expect, so whatever, their loss. And that is my experience, which may differ from other people's lives that didn't have that kind of experience. It'd just be a bonus if the girl happened to have the same interests as me if I got to meet someone like that. I mean, wouldn't that be the best if you shared a relationship with someone who based it on who you are on the inside? It just doesn't happen no matter what you want to believe, people judge. Work your way through it if you have a chance to, otherwise they are gullible for quitting on you before anything starts.

I just noticed the northeast thing btw. I didn't know you lived there, so that was just a coincidence. I just go up and down there because my bro was stationed at Silver Spring, but I do enjoy the town there much better than down here in the south. I'm planning on finding work up there so I can leave this place. Plus I go to Otakon, and travel is too much of a hassle. (completely unrelated but just to clarify my comment)