My girlfriend recently broke up with me

I'm trying this as a separate topic, since I can't seem to post in an existing thread.<p> My ex-girlfriend (who I was with for four years from 2005 to October of 2009) had never met each other in real life, but we chatted online, talked on the phone a few times, sent each other pictures, and used webcams. She eventually upgraded us to fiance status, and we were planning to lose our virginity to each other on the day that we'd meet in real life.<p> She broke up with me for a variety of reasons (I'll get into them in a later post; there's apparently a size limit).

She broke up with me for a variety of reasons, including:<p> 1) my inability to visit her (I had a hard time of getting my mom to even show an interest in her; she just seemed dismissive of my girlfriend)<p> 2) a few insults that my mom had made about her (which I'd passed along to her, because I felt she had a right to know, but they hurt her deeply)<p> 3) her thinking I wasn't interested when she talked about herself (because I couldn't think of much to say regarding her problems, and I'd always "change the subject" by typing about myself; I typed about myself in order to try to make conversation; apparently, she's very emotionally insecure and needs constant coaxing and positive reinforcement to get her to open up and feel better<p> 4) her being jealous of fictional characters, because I spent so much time on them (writing fanfics and such), and she felt she had to compete with them for my attention<p> 5) her realizing she's a lesbian in October (she apparently got together with a female online friend within a week of breaking up with me)<p> Her girlfriend flew up to meet her yesterday. My ex-girlfriend will be moving down to Texas to be with her online girlfriend as of this morning. I read a post on her DeviantArt journal upon waking up about how "cuddling IRL is awesome", and that just makes me feel worse. I feel sad, angry, and jealous.

Ya break-ups have a tendency to suck big time, but the fact of the matter is if it was meant to be it would be. Plus there like millions of women in the world maybe even 2 million...9 million tops lol

wow thats deep. :P I wouldn't have written about this online ;P but thats just me. You'll find your special someone sooner or later you just have to look in the right places. :P

I still love her, and I always will. It's just incredibly hard to go back to being just friends after four years of being romantically involved.

For that matter, we seem to be...less than what we were before we got together. Before, she used to be more communicative and talk with me about many things, even if it was just her fan projects and stuff that she watches or reads or whatever. She also used to be the one to start a conversation. Now, I feel that, if I don't start the conversation, she might not even bother talking to me at all on any given day. Also, it's primarily me doing most of the talking. She MIGHT give short responses to what I'm saying (I often give her ample time to type stuff). She might tell me stuff that's going on with her, or I might have to resort to reading it in her DeviantArt journal. Yeah, her level of communication (with me, anyway) has dropped considerably over the years.

Also, we used to flirt, even before we got together. She probably wouldn't like it, if I did that now. I miss it terribly. I also miss when we'd just talk about sexual matters. What we fantasize about, etc. It's like there's all of this stuff that we're "no longer allowed" to say to each other.

So, yeah, I'm here to find a new girlfriend, someone that I can feel completely comfortable with, and vice-versa. Obviously, it'd take a while for us to get to the level that my ex-girlfriend and I had once shared (we'd simply talked as friends for two years before finally getting together), but, if I don't look, I'll never find someone.