Heartbreak and Dismay

I see you have met a unique variety of bad relationships huh i can see why you hesitate in pursueing one from all that still even through all i been i still cant give up on it

So I have absolutely no luck with relationships apparently. Girls always getting knocked-up by some asshole. I'm the one who gets abandoned in the end. Yeah, sucks royal. I guess that's why I only have FWB or hook-ups. Plus there hasn't been someone that just stole my heart away. So I'm just focusing on getting a career now and gonna try fitting in that later. But you can't stop love right? So if it happens before my other goals, then it happens. I was in a very dark place for a very long time durring my community college days before Super Christian bitch. I did some things that others wouldn't even suspect of me. But it open doors to new pleasures I'm into now. I guess it made me stronger. But yeah... End of Evangelion was right: "Love is Destructive".

But yeah. I never struck any of them or talked bad to them or cursed at them or anything like that. I was supportive, encouraging, nurturing, caring, respectful, loving, et cetera but that was not enough. I would play it over and over and over to see what I did wrong but I guess I just suck as a sig other. Maybe I should become an asshole. They seem to get the chicks.

Nope you dont suck a bit it was simple people used you and took advantage of your kindness this is a common thing now however dont ever lose that kindness because it is growing rarer every day

I dunno dude. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me numb, cold, and a bit bitter inside. I tend to not trust anyone I would date. I have low expectations of people now. I'm starting to think that I'll just continue to be alone. Which isn't really bad. I'm usually better company for myself. Too bad I don't see guys romantically or was completely homo. Just kidding. Don't mean to offend.

Your not offending anyways i can see why you think that way and if your happy with that way of living then there is nothing wrong with it

I still have dreams of the one who got knocked-up in high school/open relationship. It's been a year this week since we broke up. I never felt so used... so betrayed... I haven't still gotten over it and don't know when I will. She phucked me up. I still have unsavory thoughts about her. I wish to erase her for my memory.

Yeah I am happy. Sure life gets me down with how I can't get a career going, and I work with dumb-dumbs that I have to keep spoon feeding who make more $$$$$$ than I. But it's not the end of the world. Time allows us to make changes in our lives. Plus anime makes me happy ^_^. Just wish to fill my occasional loneliness.

I know as do i and im sure you will eventually your a nice person which is a good thing to have in traits now and days so hopefully somebody will come along that will be good to you and fulfill you completely