So Many!

There are so many lovely and wonderful girls on this website. I just wish I had more confidence in myself to talk to them. I think about the possibilities that could be/have been if only I could open my mouth. I post often on here so its not like I cant talk. My problem is more along the lines of not liking to bother people. It doesnt help that Im somewhat older than a lot of the people on here. Not all, I get that but when it comes to people Im interested in, theyre all usually much younger and it makes me feel awkward talking to them. I have this feeling that on the other side of their screen whenever I try and talk, theyre calling me a paedo or something. This means most of the time, I just wont bother talking to them at all. Another issue is that Im not overly attractive. Im not the worst looking guy out there but its not like Im beating girls back with a stick either... The other issue is being based in the UK. While a few people can complain on here about long distances, think about my position.... When you combine all these things together (plus no doubt a bunch of other issues) its easy to think about where I could be right now and who I could be with. I could be making someone the happiest girl in the world right now if it wasnt due to my inability to talk to them. This isnt a cry for help or me feeling sorry for myself. Im just venting my frustration at myself because of the way I am. Thanks for reading (if you bothered to read it all).

If you're worried about age, just go with the divide by two and add seven rule. You take your age (28) and cut it in half which is 14. Add seven years to it and you get 21. That's relatively the youngest age you should be dating It's a good rule of thumb to go by as far as giving you a general age range of potential girls. I can definitely relate to a lot of what you're going through though. I'm very timid myself when it comes to talking with women and there are a lot of cute girls on here. I don't have a problem messaging people though, but I don't really see much of a point in dating someone who lives several states away if you can't even see them very often. Even people "close by" to where I live are still probably at least a couple hours drive from where I am if not further.

Im not worried about their ages (as long as its legal). Im worried about what they think about my age and being put off by it. Despite how I might look, Im not actually a creepy old dude but I imagine some people beg to differ. Honestly, the distance thing doesnt really bother me so much. As long as I have the right person, Id be more than happy with that, no matter where they live. Sure certain aspects would suck but Im more than prepared to move anywhere in the world for the right person as much as I like to think they would do the same for me.

Dude, your 28. It's not like your some 40 year old dude on here hitting on girls half his age. I would like to think most girls who are in their early 20's wouldn't have a problem dating someone a little older like you if they liked you enough. I'm 32, so I'm more or less looking at girls who are no younger than mid-20's which more or less compounds my problem since 90% of the new girls I see sign up are 21 or under. If you feel you could deal with the distance, more power to you, but you're going to be hard pressed finding someone to date who would not be able to see you for a very long time let alone having to cross an ocean to visit you from another country. I'm not trying to be a dick or anything, but I'm just being honest. Since I living in the midwestern part of the US, pretty much anyone on the east or west coast where a lot of people on here are from are pretty much not datable imo, but that's just me personally. I wouldn't even have a problem dating someone who even lives like a state over since it's within driving distance for me, but if I have to start thinking about taking a plane to go see someone, then it's really not worth it for me unless I'd be moving to that region or they'd be moving closer to me sometime soon. I did the long distance online dating thing in my late teens and early 20's and I've more or less moved on from that being a realistic idea since none of that ever really worked out for me and rarely does for a lot of other people. Please don't take my opinion as fact or a deterrent from trying to date someone who lives far away. I'm a bit blunt at times and just give an honest assessment and call it as I see it from personal experience. I do hope if you find someone, even if they live far away from you, that you're able to make it work!

I feel like a 40 year old though lol. Product of a hard life I guess... Ive done the long distance thing twice before. The first went ok but we were both young and drifted apart, so I wasnt overly bothered about that one. The second, well, Id rather not talk about that since it wasnt a very nice experience... I think it depends on the people though and how much you want to be together. Im not saying I have to have a long distance relationship. Of course a close one would be much more convenient. I just like to think anythings possible (odd coming from such a pessimist as myself..) and I dont think youre being I dick. I do get it but if I stop thinking theres no point in looking everywhere, I may as well just give up completely and I cant do that.

I kinda know how you feel Simon. There are plenty of women on this site in the Washington area. Unfortunately, most that I see are under the age of 20, quite a few are teenagers. I don't have a problem talking to teenagers, especially if we share similar interests, but there's a bit of a gap. Also, like you, I'd probably feel like they were looking at me as a pedo, when I'm just trying to be conversational. I learned from past experience, though, that I can't do the distance thing. I need to actually be WITH someone, the proximity is important to me. Also, I've learned patience. I do know that dating sites work, if you're patient with them and don't approach everyone as a potential date, but as a potential friend. To give an example, look at my pic. The woman standing next to me is my best friend. We were in a relationship for over two years, and were talking about getting married. We had some problems, and it didn't work out, but we're still best friends. We met on a dating site.

The distance thing isnt for everyone, I get that too! Im just pretty open to it. I like the feeling of loving and being loved most of all, regardless of things like distance or age (again, within legal limits of course...) I usually look to be friends with people first too, thats how most of my relationships have been in the past, but if I come across someone who is attractive to me physically and interest-wise, as much as I might wanna be friends or whatever to begin with, its always in my head that Id like it to go further. Im sorry it didnt work out with you and your ex though, but I cant be friends with my exes, Ive tried and it just doesnt work. But thats just me.

You can build a lasting long distance relationship based purely on words than over time if you have a strong bond, can save and meet up. And then who knows can take that big step of one of you moving to the other. My co-worker was actually had this happen. He met a girl online in the Philippines and talked for a long time. They met a couple of times and now she moved here and they are engaged. The right girl is out there and she is coming as fast as she can, just need to wait. Each person has their own way to love, and I wish you the best.