Mental health / personal difficulties

ive alway been ignored but you get use to it and the only thing making me stronger is finding out what the world really is.

I grew up mostly in special ed sadly, and lack normal Millennial friends locally. I was put on numerous medications by doctors my parents took me to, but from the violence-causing Ritalin at age 4 to the brain-corrupting and sadness-causing Lamotrigine+Lorazepam last year. Even other artificial stuff such as seizure and headache-causing MSG and mercury-based Thimerosal in MMR vaccine caused constant vomiting while put in a hospital. Some negative and positive words from people I don't find fitting with me in real life embarrass me or hurt my feelings. This in me causes my anxiety and depression (two of America's largest mental problems I heard), putting me to a stop in doing anything, but sometimes only common incoming necessities. Whatever passion I follow, it gets shattered and ruined permanently by family and/or their friends. The more this happens, the more I fear finding any hobby, interest or passion.

But mine might outrun yours T_T Family often look negative toward my hobbies. Childish, immature, wasteful and sinful against Christianity.

I've been dealing with anxiety for most of my life, but only recently did it develop into panic attacks. As soon as they started I went to get help and searched for ways to help myself heal. I ultimately came to nutrition and exercise, making myself become healthy so that when I looked at myself in the mirror i'd know that I was trying my hardest to become better. I'm now in the best shape of my life and have never felt better :) For anyone struggling with anxiety or overall stress, just remember that everyone moves at their own pace. Don't feel like you have to force yourself to change right away. Change can be gradual. Aim for the small victories, then when you're ready, go for it :)

@judgmentoftherain Oh wow! I really need to look into that more! I started drinking more green tea because I read about it's health benefits