Tales from the workplace

Hmm? Let me think. Think, think, think. As a matter of fact... Haha!

At my company they are always looking for ways to innovate on safety. As we all know one of the most frequent places to have an accident is in the bathroom which is why as of this month they've installed these safety devices in each stall to remind us to buckle up before gassing it! I mean just look at the diagram above. It clearly shows that without a proper seatbelt one could find themselves being jettisoned from the porcelain throne into orbit! Don't let that be you! Cause even when going number 2, maximizing safety will always be number 1!

Overheard a conversation between two women at work about one of them's husband having an affair with another woman behind her back over Pokemon cards. She asked him why someone named Team Rocket was texting his phone at odd hours. Life is a real comedy! Made my morning, haha!

Someone thinks they're a real prank-star! Forget gum-gum...more like dumb-dumb fruit! Devil Fruit? No it's the Dummy Fruit!

Boy do I have a tale to tell! My workplace offers its employees a complimentary birthday congratulation with a side of tax write off cupcakes. So being as May is my birth month, I wondered when I was going to get that minimal effort token! That's when my boss pulls up an email he got weeks back to notify me that the scheduled event was already taking place and that he was supposed to have notified me 30 minutes ago to report to the office. Being kinda miffed I decided to play up the hijinks when I arrived to the meet up location. Upon entering the room I see a group of people sitting at a table with a pizza. I then proceeded to make a flamboyant entrance saying I was sorry to be fashionably late. Looking around the room I smiled and said, "How thoughtful to bring me a pizza. I was expecting cupcakes, but free food is nothing worth fighting over." It was then that the entire room fell silent. All I got were surprised stares and angry glares. Not knowing what the problem was I commented, "What's up? Y'all act like I just shot someone!" That of course was a poor choice of words as apparently my little company birthday excursion was cancelled due to the recent workplace shooting that occurred the day before. No one had notified my boss or myself that the office was being used to counsel the employees who were suffering PTSD over witnessing that event. You couldn't have made the situation play out anymore comedically. However I do love the challenge so I leaned into the embarrassment and made a few morbid jokes for what amusement I could get away with before being kicked out of the office with a stern reprimanding, haha!