Going out bad

Sorta wanted to start up a thread for the awareness of men's mental health. I dont think there are really alot of places, where dudes can express themselves. Especially when faced with a ton of societal expectations. You can post sad and depressing videos here, express ways you try to better yourself, grievances and the like. Just a place for dudes, since there arent many outlets out there. P.s if you do not wish to contribute anything besides negativity toward thread and people in it there are other threads for that. Please use those instead. Thank you.

I remember there was a time a girl invited me on a date then never showed up. Was a pretty weird experience since she was the one who suggested it and i just agreed. https://youtu.be/dQdZ058jZMc

People where? Only weabuus here https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1255765368297205760/gJuTFRve_400x400.jpg

@hell_hound7 Are you going to be ok? I feel it isn't like you to be questioning yourself? Maybe I have always read your posts as someone with all the answers (though I disagreed with most of them save for Re:Zero). - Being in the military can be rough especially when you're still young. It should help people learn skills that they can apply both as an occupation and as a mental foundation for navigating life's struggles. - That said, I am all too aware how the military is given far too much credit for "setting people straight and shaving off the rough edges" as my father would say. - So many come out the other side with more questions than answers, especially when dealing with other human beings. - Perhaps there will never be a definitive answer as to who or how we should be. Laws, religion, parental guidance, and societal expectations all have their respective places, but the heart will always drive the plow that tills the soil. - We plant our own seeds of reason with hope that it bears fruit. The sun can shine, the rain may fall, but has all this helped the being to grow? Or more aptly, has this seed the will to push itself from such a shell, buried deep in the dirt, reaching upward with desperate viney fingers to wrap itself around some foundational lattice that pulls the juvenile from the womb of earth to maturity below the sky above? - Honestly, the world as beautiful as it is will have some kind of pain. If not for you directly, then the people you care about shall suffer instead. With happiness comes meloncholy. Why this is so I admittedly know not and I've been on this world for over 30 years now. - I make mistakes everyday. I love and find love where I least expect it. Usually love comes from those I think could not or should not love me. Logic and reason, as Aleph puts it, is also something very important to assessing the truth of this world. Feelings are equally important as a motivator to pursue truth. That truth lies in only you, Panda-kun! Nothing I say or do for you can be anywhere as important as what you can do for yourself. I desire the success of your life's work as one stranger to another living in a mad world! - May you use this truth to build the world that you wish to live in!

@xinmage Im not sure what you are asking me here, questioning myself? In what way? Im not questioning myself XD nothing is wrong with me specifically.

If anything was wrong i think it would be how i am today. I feel like a different person than i was 3 years before and even 4-5 before that. I turned from this very caring sympathetic person to basically lacking empathy, not relating and cold hearted. I have had my heart broken twice in my life. Once romantically the second by society. The first heart break changed my views on relationships, the second one changed my views on who i am nice to. When i hit my lowest point in my current life, i was betrayed by the people who i showed nothing but kindness to. The specific turning event was while on deployment. We had 1 hour before the cafeteria closes. I finished my lunch super early practically rushing to eat all so i could allow the girl who was on post with me to eat. I took maybe 15 minutes. I was allowed 1 hour. She took the entire hour, without regard for me, without regard to the situation knowing up until this point we were rushing to go to lunch because we didnt have anyone to cover for us. The 3rd guy assigned to the post rather than stay to help me, used the only vehicle assigned to that station to drive around leisurely in the cool A/C and left me alone. With 8 other guys who we were all supposed to be watching that could at any moment overpower me if they really wanted me dead. Luckily they held no hostility to me. But i could have also gotten in trouble because i had to keep eyes on them at all times and the zone we were assigned was a mile long so if one decided to go to the opposite end to work i had to stand inbetween the two groups which meant i was directly in the sun at 100°. This is what made me stop being nice to people. They all left me alone, after pleading for someone to come help me out. They all came back and chilled in the car sending me to the opposite side still in the heat. And i never forgot that moment. That was made me change. I hate my time out there so much that when i got back and came to the life that i originally went out there to escape. Realized nothing changed and my life was in the same spot. Had i owned any weapons when i got back i probably wouldnt be here. I fell into excessive drinking, and it toom me getting absolutely fucked up to quit drinking. Now i am here. Not the best but surviving. Dont consider myself strong for having faced that challenge but i have always been able to adapt thats how i amde it that far. I realize how bad i have changed when i basically told my mom to her face fuck my brother and all the shit he put us through and watch out for herself because one day she will die and if she keeps stressing about him that day could be tomorrow.

I've never known a man that turns to drink or casually says "if I owned any weapons I would not be here today" to not have a few questions about where they were going in life. - The relationship with a woman is something that many a man seeks when trying to establish some proof of accomplishment when in times of doubt. If someone can actively say they rely on them then there is confirmation of their value. - In terms of family struggles, I can say that is very common. I hope that your brother, your mother, and you can find peace in each other. Taking care of them will probably be an uphill task as they get older and that seems terrifying when you feel the need to fix their lives as well as establish your own. - Carrying distrust in others tends to be self defeating unfortunately. The Aleph route of ride or die alone can seem appealing when enough people growing up let you down or show signs of repeating a fail state in their own lives. - The only recommendations I can make is to go easy on yourself first. - Don't measure the weight of success by the appearance of others living the good life because chances are they too are paying a price. - All of them have brothers, mothers, and fathers they either know or don't know. Each with their own uphill climbs. - Struggling comes easy as you have expressed. Let that struggle to measure up to yourself go so you can start appreciating the real success a great many, past and present, don't experience. The success of living your life with the kind of love only you can provide. @hell_hound7