What makes YOU attracted to someone

Good ole pheromones Wisp knows where it's at

Ascetic attraction = Way too many parameters affect this. My eye is drawn to many traits from over all figure, to facial structure and hair cut, to the outfit. I suppose I'm most prone to girls who signal "Athletic/outdoorsy geek" traits the most. I like a girl I can bring to HVZ or Larp, who could really get into it and have fun running around. Mental Attraction = Well, if you're a girl who likes hobbies that involve roleplaying (D&D, Literate, Larp, Ect), then you are pretty high up there already. Other things I tend to keep an eye out for are a compassion for furry critters, Social intelligence, passion for otaku culture, historical and anthropological interests... Basically just things we could form a substantial bond with. Emotional Attraction = Sadly, this takes the longest to build, and I don't build it so easily without a physical connection first. If I have the physical and mental attractions filled out well enough though, this should build at a steady pace. Sexual Attraction = Being demisexual, I only start to build sexual attraction after the emotional attachment has built to a sufficient level. Which is really annoying considering the only way I build emotional connections means I have to friend zone some one to figure out who they are first, which is a problem for people who are in a rush to throw me in the bed on the second night of knowing me, or for those who think I'm not trying to date them to begin with, and decide to try their luck elsewhere before I reach that point. XD

I've seen this thread around and didn't feel like posting an entire essay about my difficulties with attraction and then I see @Chocopyro who's story about demisexuality is so similar to my experience that I felt the need to address it. It is really frustrating, especially seeing as I have a high libido, to take long to be sexually attracted by someone. And I'm not even talking about the issue where women think you only became friends with them because you want to sleep with them. That's not how it went. We became friends and the more intimate the friendship became, the more feelings I developed, both emotionally and romantically as physically and sexually

Haha, yeah, Demisexuality is really hard to explain in a few words. Sometimes it's just easier to say you're completely asexual, but here's the cliff notes version, which I've refined over the years. "Demisexuality means I need to make friends before I make love, and I need to make love before I make babies, and it takes a while for us to get there, so don't rush. When I finally get there, we'll make up for lost time."

I agree. Definitely with the last part too XD Once I'm finally comfortable enough with someone, they become the most attractive and sexy person I've ever met and I could have sex with them every single day and enjoy it every single time. Also, at that point I'm extremely loyal and other people just don't matter as much. With my last relationship we had been together for 1.5 years and still every time I saw her it was as if we were only just together

Someone who actually cares about people, and wants to be engaging with them. There are a lot of people who pretend to care about people so they look like a good person, but actual people who actually care about others I feel like aren't as common.