My diary

I'm gonna use this thread as my "personal" diary..... I just want to write my thoughts and my journey through life I hope it works and if it helps you awesome!!

Dear Me, I dont know how to actually write a diary, I'm dumb when it comes to writing. Today to my granddad's home I help cleaning the place since he is to old to actually do it for himself. I feel sad everytime I see him, so fragile and lonely since my grandma passed away. He's gotten sicker and seems that the years came crushing down on him. Makes me wanna cry just thinking about him.

We had a good time though, he just tells me stories when he was younger, and how always went to climb mountains and hiking,how he once saw a butterfly the size of a bird on one of his adventures. How people used to know each other in the small town he grew up in

Dear me, Why can't you be yourself? Look at you, studying something you hate just because your father said that if you didn't study that you would be "a nobody", even though you hate it you cant say no, Pathetic. I just wanna be happy I dont care if I dont make money..... I dont care about the family name...let me be free... I know I sound cliche and as a fucking teenager....

I know I'm weak.... I can barely sleep, I have panic attacks.....i feel alone.... Life is like a tsunami and I'm there standing in a beach alone trying to act tough when inside I'm just a small girl. But sometimes life gives you a little something to keep going, I know is out there I just haven't found it.

Dear me please try to change and become who you are and stop letting people control your life, please....... I'm gonna try sleeping now....I always plan my first dream, i always picture myself as a strong person usually a superhero type, I guess I'm strong in my dreams as I am weak in real life. Sweet dreams dear me. P.D: If you are reading this take care unknown person hope you can learn how not to be me and be someone happy... January 10th 2020

Dear me Today I woke up thinking that it was going to be a great day Well my dad sure knows how tu ruin them. Again with the you are going to be no one bullshit. He acts as I owed him something... he acts as if he is the one paying for my stuff, acting as a good dad yea right, now you are a good dad after you told my mom you didn't want to see us cause we where an inconvenience. Thanks for ruining my day.... My bf(bestfriend) is coming to see me tonight cause we are going on vacations together despite my dad saying that I didn't deserve a vacation.