Any insucurities that need to just get out

Sometimes I feel as if I'm not good enough for the people who are close to me. I feel as if everyone in my life is going to leave me because they can't stand to be around me anymore. I already have a hard time making friends and it feels like the friends I do have don't like me. they are nice to me and we can joke around but that's all we can do. I'm too afraid to tell them what I'm thinking of because I'm usually the one that listens and makes everyone else feel better. I'm supposed to be the happy one but sometimes I just want to disappear. I need advice on what I should do

i really know what your going through i doing it now but i think open up to them little more each day until you confint to have a chat with all your emotion on board because a you really ready give up on your friends if they are your friends they wont on you