Whos the saddest PersonOn MO?

someone with the most harts. i might be in the top 20 saddest

LEI

Chasing the same old girl I used to like but since she knows I USED TO LIKE her everything is fucked up now. I have no future, everyone feel so "uncomfortable" next to me and I am just the nice guy till it turns out that I am actually boring. Well I also get literally never get messages. My whatsapp chats are just my mom, my brother and a friend I met online on StarCraft2. And even these chats are like empty and I even forgot I already got whatsapp on my phone haha. I downloaded instagram once, just to be like the others. Just being normal...- Actually being seen.... I mean its nothing wrong with that innit? I mean why everyone else is so succesfull. Is it because of me? I am really trying but everything what I do, how I act or where I am aiming for just leads to nothing. At the end of the day I just end in front of my phone... staring at it and the blanket over my head. A little funfact. I guess I got a phone addiction. Some days- no- everyday I have nothing to do I just spam every youtube video on my feed. Till NIGHT. Outsite there is nothing and I am also broke. When I am going outsite I just think for myself, what am I doing here? Yea I see other people and I even try to BE with people and the result is everytime the same. Nothing happens. I am actualy mad, sad and dissapointed at the same time. I guess this is how sacred disspair feels like. Yea and now, if you are still reading this, we gonna come to the fucked up point of my story. The need of being seen and the bad luck of my life, made me empty. I dont feel heat or cold. I feel emptyness. I can discribe it like you lost every emotion on your body. Everything is the same and I am a piece of meat that vegetates. Nothing can hurt me. Everything does not matter anymore. Once I tried to show the others that my suffering matters just turned to another sick joke on my life. Its kinda funny because noone took at seriously... Ya.. sacred disspair I started to cut my wrist. I dont know when I started. I guess few month past by. Also I dont even know why I am doing this. I dont want to kill myself... I just do it. Just to see bleed. I dont cut deep but to see my body damaged makes me smile somehow. The only one who cares about my damaged being is actually me to be more precious my body. So this is my story but also I can not do this snowflake