What's the hardest part about dating YOU?

I date to marry. Because I think if you're not dating to marry, then you're dating to either break your partner's heart, or have your own heart broken. If I catch feelings for a girl and I tell her that I love her, then I'm coming at her with the intention of marrying in the future. Most people I talked with say, "I'm just looking for a bf/gf because I'm lonely and I'm looking for fun".

The hardest part? Where do I even begin? I shut people down. I am too afraid of getting dependent on someone for emotional support. I don't want to run back to the person when the world shuns at me. Yet I want to. I need a shelter. I don't get sexually aroused around a man who needs my gonads for sexual satisfaction. I don't derive pleasure out of things done casually or things people call having fun. No one has the time in this world. People no more want to invest time in people. Its pretty simple you can jump from one person by swiping right. I don't even know what is the hardest part but I feel I have to blend in like most people! Act like I don't have time because if I do, people will keep fucking me up. I don't quite get how the world runs, one big fat rat race! So now you know why I am not able to date anyone!

@raven_sugoi Trust me, this much I know. After growing up in a Ruso-Filipino household the last mistake to make is piss off a Filipina.

Same as @amir_bahram I guess it's hard for some people to wrap their heads around it these days but I'm pretty oldschool and conservative when it comes to dating and I'm thinking about the long term if I'm gonna be dating someone. It might come off as too intense for some people. And I literally don't understand the whole concept of "I have feelings for you...but we're not exclusive right now so I'm gonna just go around and mess around with whoever I want, and you should be able to as well" I basically was told that by the last girl I tried to have a relationship with since apparently she liked me but just wasn't ready for a committed relationship yet and that honestly turned me off really hard. :u