What's the hardest part about dating YOU?

I have really bad social anxiety so I never get anywhere to begin with. I'll have a little crush and want to get to know someone, but I have no idea what the "right way" to approach them and go about getting their number or something. Also kind of a confidence issue there, I have enough insecurity for anxiety to pull from to hold me back. If I get into a relationship, same thing, just afraid to be myself. What if I'm too introverted for too long and you get bored of how little I initiate conversation? What if I talk way too much and annoy the shit out of you? What if I'm too much of a geek, or the stuff I'm into is too cringey? What if I'M too cringey, or too pervy? What if I'm depressed for too long and they lose interest? I used to have a lot of confidence in dating and I was able to get a relationship pretty easily. But I've been in enough bad ones now that I've gotten afraid of them. The last one went so bad, I stayed away from dating for years and it really destroyed the confidence I had left. I've spent the last few years trying to "improve myself" but it's all been a waste. The very belief of "There's something wrong with me and I need to change myself so that I'm worth a shit" has only made my anxiety, depression, and insecurities worse. I need to get into a relationship and see it succeed in order to actually see improvement, but those beliefs hold me back hardcore so I feel pretty stuck.

Probably that I'm very stern when it comes to conflicts and issues. I seldom give second chances whenever someone shows their true character and I see that it will cause lots of conflicts in the future, I just break it off. So in a sense, I guess I'm looking for someone that is compatible with me, rather than someone who's super attractive

I'm autistic, but I don't look badly like it. I also lose balance in my speech. Some prefer small talk and are like "Ah! Too much information!", some prefer large talk and cannot get enough saying, "Please! Tell me more!"

Im Autistic, my short term memory is kinda bad, I have a poor attention span, I need to be doing something or else I tend to cause trouble, I dont really talk that much unless nervous or excited, i tend to be to be a buzzkill irl, I sleep alot, I am very messy, I'm loud as fuck(not in bed because I dont know I am or not), inexperienced in dating and in bed,and I tend to not give my all if I dont like doing something,