I'm slowly losing it...

Well, I'm so sick of being a goddamned joke of God to laugh at! I literally might be the only person in my friend's group who has no significant other... Nobody has had a crush on me, nobody has ever asked to date me. I did do a few relationships, which all ended in a week and ended up a break-up, which weren't nasty thank God. However, my friends, who mainly consist of those with special needs, have girlfriends/boyfriends and I am literally the only single guy in the group... I feel like I was born to be a joke to God. I just want to be happily married and have a family, even though I know I am still 19. I literally resulted to Online Dating to feel the happiness. And yet that isn't showing any bit of success. I can't hold down a serious job, I am a hygienic disaster, I don't have any happiness, and I drink orange soda like an alcoholic... Not to mention I also never get out of my house because I have nothing to do! Why am I such a damned joke to God?! Someone please explain what I should do... I just hate my life.

Never hate yourself, enjoy yourself. https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/102/657/858.gif Your like me, but younger. I went through everything, that your currently going through. The thing is that life sucks. Life can make others super happy, and the most innocent it's toy. You can't become Life's toy. Smile, even if its fake. If Life wants you to be miserable, don't show it weakness. Weakness invites Life's friends Depression, and Loneliness. My tip to surviving is just to relax, and make friends. Eventually one of those friends will fall in love with you, perhaps you love this person as well. You can't have friends, if your miserable. That's the reality of the matter. So here is a bro hug: https://d34zzkuru6phz2.cloudfront.net/media/full/2017/04/30/HorribleSubs_Seikaisuru_Kado_-_04_720p.mkv_snapshot_04.32_2017.04.30_09.17.08.jpg I wish you well.

WHOA! Okay mate calm down and take a breath. You aren't a joke, you are a person capable of going and doing great things. First off you are holding this negativity in and you need to cut that shit out because whether you intend to or not I have seen it in other posts besides this one and I suspect that you project that energy out in your own life along with the low self-esteem and other bad vibes that come with it. Life is a ride and sometimes it takes turns you won't like. So the last thing a person is gonna want to do is sign on for a relationship with someone who is miserable. That aside, you cannot be placing your self worth and happiness on others. This might be hard to hear but your happiness is in your own hands. Let me repeat that: YOUR HAPPINESS IS IN YOUR OWN HANDS. Having trouble holding down a job? Sit down with yourself and ask or maybe call your bosses and ask. Ask what made you not able to hold those down? what did you mess up on and how can you go about improving it so that you can then have a great and steady work. You might have to go to school or just work on yourself. Work on your hygiene as well. Your clothes, your surroundings, your body. these are all things within your own control. You need to value yourself. But it's awfully difficult to see yourself as someone of value if you allow yourself to live in unhygienic areas. Think about how you project yourself. If I go to your room and look around without seeing you what kind of person might I assume you are? Same with how you dress and how you carry yourself. Start eating better. You don't need to go vegan or give up sugars and sweets and junk food completely but start looking into healthy options. Maybe think about meal prep as there are plenty of affordable ways to have healthy and delicious food all week. Being a man who knows how to cook is a bonus. Sign up for a gym membership or work out at home. If you want I can recommend some great tips and routines that'll help. Getting yourself in shape will improve your focus, help your mind be able to better manage stress, make you look sexier for the ladies, and the discipline you put into it will help to invigorate you because you can look yourself in the mirror and say "I did this. I am kind of awesome!" (: But it isn't just physical. Sit back and meditate on what it is you want. What do you want? Find your purpose. What kind of life do you want to lead? And what all would you need to do to lead that life? Don't blame God, because real or not you are in control your own actions. Sure you can't the actions of others but most assuredly you dictate how YOU respond to it. So do that. Go out. Maybe just for a walk or a drive to clear your head. Sit down and think about what kind of life you want to lead. Clean out your room and area if it's dirty, start taking pride in how you carry yourself, think about your shortcomings both on your own and by consulting your previous employers, And then you should address them. It will be another brag for future jobs about how you worked on yourself. Go on and work out, eat better, treat your body like the beautiful construct of stardust that it is and find your potential. Do this and you'll find that you've so much in this world you want to do that you'll always have a reason to go out. You're 19 for fucks sake. The amount of potential you have is INSANE. Work on yourself and you could be this in shape, well-off, passionate, driven man on his purpose whose capable of being happy on his own and within himself. You'll cultivate this awesome life. And trust me(TRUST ME), women will notice and want to be a part of it.

I'm a do-things type of guy so I hope in some way this helps. Of course it also always helps to have someone to talk with about all this man

https://.youtube.com/watch?v=e9-3RZkzpwM "I am still 19" Stop there and breath, my friend. Breath. Want to change? Do it. Don't count on other's to move you when you have two good legs of your own. Live and learn, that's all you can do. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and be free.

Hey, until recently, I was the only person at my work who didn't have a spouse or girlfriend. Even the guy who always jokingly put himself down has a girlfriend now(and I'm not sure, but I think he might be planning to propose to her soon) I put myself out there, and now, I've got the most amazing girlfriend I could ever ask for. You really just gotta be open and don't try too hard.

You have at the very least like 15 years left before the "I can't get a gf" be a real worry. For the way you speak, even if you get a gf now, it won't be the magical solution for happiness. Do you really want to offer that s/o a broken dependant partner that has to be taken care of? That sounds like a whole bunch of new problems. You are ONLY 19. People above have already said plenty of advice. There are many ways to get your life together. Get a hobby, get ripped, collect stamps, be pround of yourself for learning a new language of whatever.....i don't fucking know, you have plenty of time to look for something. Just be proactive and don't let the years just pass by. Learn to be AT LEAST ok with yourself... I'll avoid saying something like "happy with yourself" because I'm not exactly the role model of peak self esteem rofl

Alright bud. First, just stop. Stop it with this bullshit of "I am a joke to God", The only person you are a joke to, is yourself. And you're the only one that matters in that regard. So let's start off with your first issue. "I hate my life", There's your first fundamental problem. You do not want a relationship if you hate your life, or if you hate yourself. A woman will not suddenly make an unbearable life, Good. Sure the hormones, the oxytocin when it's running in your system will feel good. But that's just the beginning phase that will fade and you'll be back where you started with a likely dependence on the other person. Which is neither healthy to you or them. Your first step, before you even think about getting a relationship is to fix your life. And while you are the only person who can do it, who can say "Yeah, I like this" about your life. You've already stated some things you can fix. But keep this in mind, write it down, burn it into your memory. You can't truly love someone, when you don't love yourself, because until then, you don't truly understand what it is. So forget about online dating, and dating for a moment, and focus on yourself. "I can't hold down a serious job." Well what kind of job do you want? That's your first step. Get an easy job first, some minimum wage bs if necessary, even two to keep yourself afloat if that's what you need. Once you're stable, which you may already be, but if you're not, focus on that first. Get some welfare for bills if it's a must, it's what those type of programs are for, but be stable. Then found out what you want to do. Whether it be an editor or to write books, because you love reading or telling stories, whether it be becoming a programmer because you love video games, whether you want to be a doctor or join the military(always a good first job the military, gives great benefits for later years. Teaches you good life lesson's aswell.) if you want to help people. Whatever you enjoy, whatever you like, whatever turns you on, find a way to make it or get into a job that integrates it in some way, because you need a job you can feel proud of and enjoyment. Find out what it is, map out how you can get it, whether it be simple or if you need to go to college, then do it. Cut this boohoo bullshit brother, it helps no one, especially yourself. Find the problem, and fix it, don't whine. "I'm a hygienic disaster." Work out, whether it be with weights or cardio. Find an easy routine you can stick to. Brush your teeth directly after breakfast, exercise after that, shower after that. Force yourself to wake up at an early time to make time for all this extra stuff. Turn this into a routine. Hygiene restored. With added benefits of a healthier mind and body. "I drink too much orange soda" Cut it out of your routine then. Find your orange soda. Throw it out, or give it to someone else you know that likes it. Stop buying it. Cut yourself off cold turkey. How I get rid of my soda habits. Drink water instead. Cheaper and better for you. "I don't leave the house due to no hobbies" Then make them. Use websites like these (https://www.meetup.com/), pick something to do and make some friends. Don't be a wimp about it. Just do it. Don't think about it, find something you like or want to do(Good way to start exercising, is to find people to do it with for example.), then do it. Your brain gives yourself five seconds before it begins to make excuses on why you shouldn't want to do something. Because our brains are naturally against doing something uncomfortable. Which it will be for you, since you never leave the house. But being uncomfortable is good. It means you're growing. "I'm not happy with my life." You're not happy with your life because you hate your life. You obviously hate, or at least feel heavy dislike towards yourself. You aren't the hero of your own story, which is what you should be. You aren't the hero of your own story because you know if you looked at yourself close enough, you'd judge yourself unfavorably. It's easier to do nothing about it. You need to understand that you're the only one who can fix your life. Look at your life, look at yourself, and find everything you dislike, which it seems like you've already started, then figure out everything you can to fix it. Because no man or woman can do it for you. If you can't figure it out, look up people who were successful at what it is you want to be at. Become someone you can respect, someone you can look at in the mirror and see favorably. Once you do that, you can worry about relationships., and you'll likely have far better results with them. But you have to stop whining about your life, and actually do something about it. I may sound harsh but it's true. I've been there, hated everything about my life, was going no where, was lazy as shit and just wanted to forget about my problems instead of do something about them. Then I got fed up with my life and attitude and changed them. You've already taken the first step, you've realized that there is something wrong, now find everything that is, write it down if necessary, write down what you want, how to get it, then do it. It's simple, it may not sound like it is, but it is simple. But just because something is simple, doesn't mean it won't be hard, because it will be, but you have to ask yourself, is it worth the work it's going to take, to get out of this rut and have the life your want to have? I think we both know the answer. So get to it and good luck.