Nice guy syndrome and white knights

I think people are either naturally deceptive and think highly of themselves, or do everything in their power to avoid coming off as such. I think both sides are equally as bad. The "m'lady" crowd is just as deceptive as the "haha, look at this white knight!" people. Just be natural, normal, yourself. Don't try to meet an image that can't realistically be met or just simply isn't realistic. Genuine is always the best way to go. You're a human dealing with humans. Don't treat someone inherently differently based on anything other than behavior.

I agree with Kamina, I've heard something similar on youtube I think or maybe I read it on reddit I dunno. The person was saying being nice isn't enough because being nice is something everyone want by default. A lot of people are nice so what's your point? What do you bring to the table? Can you make her laugh? etc. Also the "omg her boyfriends is such an ass, why do girls only go out with asses". Couple can get in conflicts sometime, it seems really normal and happens to everyone. What if you just saw him being a jerk for one instant but behind the curtains of the little show you're watching, he's really supportive and genuinely love her and they understand each other and sometime people can screw up a bit, have a short temper, etc.? Easy to watch someone else and judge them lol. Nice guys don't like improving themselves but they sure like to look down on others.

To kinda fortify what was already said in this thread. I think basically every nice guy/nice girl type would become much more successful with the opposite sex if they just find themselves some hobbies, a passion, build an actual character around the "niceness" instead of just trying to attract people by just doing the thing that literally every human being should do by default for other people. Especially when I'm sure they too wouldn't really respond much to someone attempting to court them by just being nice either. Becoming someone who's comfortable in their own skin, has a great passion for their interests and at least has some sort of drive to further improve themselves is something that people generally would just be drawn to naturally, that's how you have real conversations, get the opposite sex interested in your life and whatnot, maybe you share the same hobbies too? that would be a bonus. Building a mutual interest would be the first step to actually getting somewhere so of course you'd get no where if it's just you that's interested but you make no effort to make yourself engaging to talk to. You're nice and respectful but that's about the end of it, and the end goal is still somehow to end up dating that person? That's the reason why the whole nice guy/girl thing fails and will always fail until they realize how ridiculous their thought process is. And I mean, making yourself actually appealing is not something you need to go through some hollywood makeover or 80's movie training montage to do either...You literally just live, do your own thing and enjoy yourself and people will come into your life. Some will go but there will be those who stay and appreciate you for who you are. I generally feel like some people take much longer to realize that fact than others, which leads to us having a discussion on this here weeb dating site about the men and women who use this tired ass routine for dating or trying to gain rapport with the opposite sex. :u Though at the end of the day everyone's path is different, I try not to judge these types of people too harshly. Done rambling now. :v

Being a "Nice guy" and having manners or chilvary are diferent things When i'm on the train/bus etc and i see a women/girl, i offer my seat not because i want to flirt with them but because that's natural for me and i believe that doing that is right. The same applys for open the door, paying the bill and ask them if i can help them with something in special, and treating them with "respect" (the world respect has lost his relevance these days) in my case that's normal because THAT'S the way i was raised One time i offer my seat to a girl and she tell me "i'm not going to give you my number" and i reply "what?, i just offer my seat for education but you can stay there if you want" These woman seekers are killing the old chilvary school , they need to be stopped .-. (yes, i'm a bit old school in that part so what?)

As a minimal defense on nice guys, I think most didn't start out bad and their failures in love have led them digging their own hole instead of trying to improve their being. Never too late to climb out of that hole though.

Often, actually nice people aren't used to taking advantage of others without paying back the "debt" they believe they owe others.

Nothing wrong with nice guys. That can be defined many different ways really. Nice could range from simply getting someone a coffee in the morning, to stopping to help someone on the side of the road that you've never met. Before you can say that nice guys are pathetic, you have to consider the whole situation. Also, remember that everyone has a dark side. The nicest person in the world may have the strongest rage building within them.