PAP: Relationship Goals

Which isn't bad at all. I'm extremely sickened by these nasty people who only goes for sex instead of actually understanding me and wanting to build up connection with me. I usually get these nasty old geezers who keeps thinking I'm buyable. I have major problems in finding a potential bf who wants to approach me like that instead of physical reasons.

In this day and age of online dating as well as a broader acceptance of poly/enm relationships I don't find it too surprising that it's tougher to find something. Covid only helped exacerbate the move to online with lockdowns and social distancing and people still encouraged to avoid crowds even with face masks and vaccines readily available in many western nations. For guys the whole red pill/mgtow movement in the past handful of years for a lot of the under 35 male crowd has really moved the needle for many not wanting to be bogged down in a traditional western relationship i.e. courtship/dating, engagement, marriage, kids etc. They've seen their parents, relatives, siblings, and friends go through the divorce grinder and want no part of it. That's lead to a much more carefree culture of FWB or casual dating and fewer seeking a true monogamous long term relationship. A lot of guys and girls also want to have their freedom to pursue their own interests and marriage and family can curtail that significantly as well as fewer people either not adopting or leaving traditional western religions. Combine all that and it's why if marriage is even in the cards for many people these days, it's happening way later down the road. Marriage under the age of 25 has fallen off a cliff the past couple decades. If we're also looking at the subculture of the geeky/anime/gamer guy, there are a lot of guys who don't have the social tact, maturity, and awareness to really try and have a meaningful relationship with someone. Some frankly don't know how to talk to girls and get WAY to obsessed over the physical and don't even make an attempt to get to know someone very well and it's doing them no favors in the dating game. For gals in an era of instagram, snapchat, and other social media outlets it can lead to no shortage of male attention for better or worse. The problem is they're wading through a pool of men who may or may not want the same thing they do. Even if they meet a guy they feel they can click with, there's no guarantee he's going to be one to stick around long term in this day and age. On any kind of dating app or site it's way easier for girls to get laid then guys, but casual sex is one thing most girls who join those platforms are ultimately not looking for unlike many guys. It's why it's very easy for many girls on those platforms to throw their hands up at the world and say the only thing men want is sex. This in turn can kind of frustrate the guys out there who want something meaningful because for a lot of girls, the predisposition of "all guys want is sex" is already built into their initial interactions with talking and getting to know a guy and that can be a hurdle for many to overcome for both sides of the coin.

The 4th Ed-Boy @rokas15 1 minute ago Funny it was almost the complete opposite for me of what you described happens from watching the divorce grinder consume others and shit. I think casual sex is the most disgusting thing imaginable, my brain cannot even physically comprehend what could compel someone to have a one night stand and act like that's a normal and rational thing to have done, doubly so for anyone that unironically practices polyamory. Higher promiscuity directly correlates to higher divorce rates and relationship instability down the line among other negative impacts why would I ever want to subject myself to that? Unless the people doing this stuff don't even consider the repercussions which makes me want to associate with them romantically even less lmao So I choose to practice celibacy until marriage and I am EXTREMELY hard pressed to even consider any girl who isn't also saving herself. I would rather give up on the wife and children I would love to have than cave in on my beliefs and have to deal with the utterly disgusting dating scene that we have now. The odds of me finding a girl even worth dating in the first place is miniscule, let alone when I'd have to play minesweeper (Oops! All Mines!) to get there. inb4 someone that's been passed around more times than a blunt at a Bob Marley concert comments "incel"

@rokas15 I don't really get the whole casual sex crowd either. I'm fairly old fashioned, but waiting for marriage seems too unrealistic to me. It's a nice sentiment, but it just doesn't happen these days. Heck it didn't happen as often as they'd like you to believe in the past either.

My parents knocked boots before marriage. I've had casual myself and there is nothing special about either choice. It is a matter of knowing what you're emotionally and physically able to handle. I won't advocate the casual life, but I say let it be for those that do. I cast no stones. Try to use a condom at least. And lube. Lots of lube.

Like I implied, I can't stop you from doing your own thing but I'm not going to magically change the way my brain processes this information as disgust. The mere thought of it to me is gross, I'm not going to be ashamed of my brains natural response to it. As for Umi Nezumis bit, my response would always be "Just because people lied and bullshitted about it in the past, doesn't mean I have to likewise follow suit" Good for them, I don't care if people in the past didn't practice what they preached regarding celibacy. I know which way I believe is right, and I'm no hypocrite about it. I do not need anyone's validation but my own when it comes to my beliefs. Also I love how I'm the one called toxic for having pure wholesome beliefs, as if the ones tossing their bodies around like a commodity are somehow not toxic at all lmfao yeah okay bud like I said you do you but I'm not getting involved and I'm not going to feel any sympathy when you're a used up single parent with multiple STD's desperately telling yourself "What did I do to end up this way?" as if the answer wasn't plain as day. Crazy to think I really do live in a bizarro world where people try to pass off their small warehouse-full of previous partners as a totally sane and normal thing but god forbid someone says "you know what, this seems like a terrible idea for a bunch of valid reasons maybe people should consider not doing this thing until marriage" In the end, It does give me a chuckle to see people lose their shit when I state a relatively benign opinion like this. You can really tell the Bob Marley Blunt bit was right on the money for some people :^)