Infatuation vs Love

I'm reading this!Infatuation and attachment are considered. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article/file?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0161087&type=printable

Pk.. just wanted to add that in the honeymoon phase/attraction the serotonin levels get reduced and are not high :V Dopamine and Serotonin levels always oppose each other in most of their activities, so if Dopamine rises Serotonin lowers! Infact it is speculated that the low levels of Serotonin is what triggers the "infatuation" which occurs in the begining stages of love :p

I have no family members that have been remarried or divorced and I've only been married for just under two years while being together just under four. I'll let you know when "the shit hits the fan" and it doesn't work. There are statistics and then there are those that dont quite follow them. People are very quick to give up for a multitude of reasons and even quicker to charge head first into failure because of "feels". Love is more about what you do than how you feel, that's not to say feelings dont play a part.

my family has been all about divorces and ive never even had a girlfriend. but neather has alot of people now days so its cool

That is actually something they talk about in Kabbalah. Like you have most of the commandments and scriptures that are objective in "Do this, don't do that." Then you have things like "Love thy mother and father." So... Practitioners of Kabbalah have a very specific world view, which is very practical and systematic. And a commandment which asks them to honor, love, or respect someone kinda leaves them scratching their heads. "How does one objectively DO love?" The answer they came up with was "Love = Service." So by doing service to the family, you are showing love. By doing service in the name of god, you are showing your devotion to him. I'm simplifying things here of course, but I just thought that what Yaasshat said was in interesting parallel. But yes, love isn't eternal, like a lot of people unrealistically believe it to be. And for some people, love is at the root of their problems. So you shouldn't believe in a fairy tale ending. It's not always going to be pretty, and its going to hurt at the worst of times. But I kinda interpret love as caring for the well being of someone, and sacrificing something in order to protect that. You can still love someone you aren't attracted to, or aren't happy with anymore, and that's part of what makes it so hard to break apart from some people. Of course you could also loose love for someone, and split apart rather harmoniously, much like one of my uncle/aunts have done. They didn't hate each other. They weren't in an ugly part of their relationship, just mutual apathy. Like they got along, they were friends, they had a child, but their relationship was stagnant. They just didn't really have the connection that they once shared. So they split. My aunt looks after the child, my uncle is chasing a new girl, and that was that. So yes, love can be lost, just as attraction can. And it's not always a traumatic thing. Then you look at the relationships where love still is there. And I don't just mean romantic relationships, but friendships, family, pets. Even dysfunctional relationships where the brain chemicals have long drained, and yet they still fight each other and themselves to make it work. You could call that love. Neither of them want to be where they are. Nobody wants that. But they care about each other. Look at the destructive family pet that the family has had for 5 years. "Damn dog keeps destroying the furniture." "You aren't thinking of getting rid of him, are you?" "Nah. Hard to Imagine life without him." https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3a/12/9f/3a129fc887c0dbb97ea7f3cead229db2.gif And man, a few of my friends are mothers, and I have to say, I relate to that feeling of wanting to sell them to a band of gypsies. But they wouldn't because, while they get absolutely nothing out of it those first few years, they endure, despite the hell their children wrack on their mental well being. Now try to put a parent who has no love for their kid in that situation. It does not go over so well. So yeah, love is very real in my world view. I see it every day, and while brain chemicals may influence the way love is shown, I think its something much more than that.

Let people have their fun, sure Infatuation isn't "True Love", it's a mixture of chemicals that at their longest will last two years. But let people enjoy their natural drugs as much as they can. It usually doesn't last too long and when it ends, it's gone for good. But you have them so you can bond, if you stay distant due to 'not giving into your feelings' then you are only making it more difficult for yourself to find true companionship. Real love is a mixture of commitment, trust, and sacrifice. This goes for any kind of it. Though it's obvious different kinds for each kind of relationship, they're the same necessities all the same. Emotions are fickle by nature. It's why some people say they're "Addicted to love" when in reality they addicted to infatuation.

Indeed. As stated before, enjoy them while you can. Just try to make smart choices. We're merely saying don't go to the deep end of commitment. Its like agreeing to a contract after reading only the advertisement, and not reading through the terms, or the fine print.