Why do we fall for difficult people?

It make sense I do believe that human are not the best at adapting themselves to new thing and prefer thing that they know and are comfortable with, I know that I often tend to be a little scare when face with new experience. Same thing goes for love we even without thinking about it are looking for someone who will make us feel the same feeling that we grow with even if this feeling isn't the best one because we are use to it which make it mxuh more easy to deal with.

I was under the impression that the only reason we fall for difficult people is because people aren't simple. Unless you're Donald Trump. Then everything is oversimplified, except the way you try to structure your point in any twitter post. Gaw, I've never seen so many wasted words before!

OPINION COMING NOT VERIFIABLE FACT (Sorry for caps but emphasis) I believe people are drawn to difficulties due to a lack of self worth, by approaching the unapproachable they get a false sense of worth. Which is sad because self worth should never be determined by external circumstances, we should be comfortable in our own skins for our own value, and not for what we posses and who we are with

I feel that a lot of people are scared of certain things like for instance if we are in a relationship with somebody we are scared of either commitment or taking that big step or even per se feeling like that person is the one or maybe not the person that you thought he or she was in the beginning. A lot of things go into being in a relationship or finding somebody else attractive.

Oh that's simple, Don't need to watch a video for that. 1. Child rearing. If you are raised with parents who are abusive towards you or each other, you will subconsciously see this as normal or ideal, even though consciously, you know it's wrong. 2. Settling. Many people settle, They get in a relationship and are so afraid of being alone, that they don't realize it'd be better for you rather than staying in a toxic or lackluster relationship. 3. Manipulation, Many toxic people are great at manipulating weak people. 4. Attraction, Few people know how it works. It's a mixture of body language, mindset and visual attraction. Someone that knows how to use these, can easily make themselves seem perfect even if they're terrible. Though I'm unsure how it works for women, I know it well for the man side anyways.

Mhm! This! ^^^ I feel like childhood has a lot to do with how you feel towards the world in the future, I know personally I had rough times and seeing relationships fall apart so frequently does damage you when it comes to love. I'm guilty of being manipulative in the past, I hate myself for it, but thankfully that is the past now and I feel like I've matured a lot since my last 'serious' relationship. I'm glad to be single for now but when I get into my next relationship, I want to be different. More adult, less clingy. I feel like my mindset back then was very "Hey I'm gonna do this because it looks fun!" and then wrecking things. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I hope I'm different now.~

This is gonna be a long one so TLDR; if you feel like the person you're with or you're going for just isn't going to work out then find someone you know you're compatible with instead. You might be single for a while but in this case, nothing is the best option until you find the partner that's just right for you. I feel when most people find a partner they do everything they can to stick to that partner no matter how difficult they are, either out of loneliness or because that's all they really know. With so much emphasis placed on relationships these days, everybody wants to find that perfect partner and when they find someone, they're often not as perfect as they were hoping to the point they're not happy with them but they stay anyway because they feel they need that someone in their life and when they spend so much time being with someone who's probably not that good for them, they feel they should keep sticking it out because they feel that person is all they'll ever have. It's very much the sunk cost fallacy in full force except instead of money invested, it's time invested. I feel it's very common for girls to go after the "douchebags" as some people might call them because they're often the most confident and straight up honest with their intentions of dating or even just casual sex from the very start. To a lot of girls, that's REALLY exciting knowing someone made that effort for them - whether they're good guys or not, that's sexy in their eyes. In some cases, everything works out fine but in a lot of other cases that guy could be very problematic and a frustrating handful to deal with. But in light of those issues, some girls LOVE the idea of taming the bad boy, breaking down those negatives and making him her own - overcoming a challenge, slaying that beast inside them and getting themselves a sexy, handsome and confident partner they worked hard for in the process. Just like sex, that kind of thing brings TONS of satisfaction to women these days, but sadly that rarely ever works out. However most "nice guys" are probably the much safer and quicker option for women to obtain a man but the problem there is women find them boring, not engaging and lacking in excitement because don't develop an actual presence for themselves in the hearts and minds of the women around them which is why "nice guys" do finish last because they're not putting themselves out there enough. And as far as the internet and women who experienced these "nice guys" are concerned, most of them are nowhere near as nice as they think they are which is also a gigantic turn off. Of course there's plenty of genuine nice guys out there but the same rules apply, they have to put themselves out there. Of course everything I said all works in vice versa as well; it's almost always the case regardless of gender from what I've observed over the years. So I'm going to start going into my personal stories to give context to what I say; I can speak from experience myself on this topic since I've dated quite a number of women in my time (was even bi-curious at one point but it wasn't my thing so shhhh); I used to be a really awkward kid in my early teens and couldn't get a girlfriend or even talk to girls to save my life because I was so shy and didn't really know how to approach that sort of thing but once I broke out of my shell after I turned 15, overcame that fear of asking girls out and just generally working to put myself out there as honestly as I possibly can then I can easily catch the interest of women and get into relationships or friends with benefits with pretty much zero issue as long as said women are also feeling that spark. Sure a lot of relationships fell apart and I'm well aware I'm an extremely flawed individual but hey everything in life is a learning experience, there was always something to work on with myself - it's important to improve as much as you can. I'd argue I still have a lot left to work on honestly. Sadly my issue is that even though I feel I pick the right girls (except my ex before my most recent one), my relationships - especially my three most recent ones, almost always fall apart for the silliest and most unfortunate reasons which definitely gets me down. Sure there have been times where it's my fault and I messed up and I've always aimed to use previous break ups as a learning experience to keep fixing myself. But when you know it's just an unfortunate development where things aren't going to work out and it's not your fault then that's when things can get very depressing - it's hard to prepare for that. I mean I met one girl here on MaiOtaku and things were going really amazing for a good while - we did so much together and it was amazing and despite living in different countries, we managed to meet up and spend a few days together in London, did all sorts of fun stuff together but after that we just ended up not working out since our personalities just didn't gel together relationship-wise in the end - even when she told me I'm really great and did everything right. So it's honestly quite nice knowing it was not my fault it didn't work out but it was an unfortunate situation where we just weren't made for each; however THAT'S important for people to understand. Don't keep going after people or stay in relationships where it's clearly not going to work. Don't hold out hope for someone you're not made for. Find someone who's actually compatible for you. Yeah you might be single and possibly even lonely for a while, especially after leaving a relationship but that's the perfect time to work on yourself, reflect on what you want from your potential future partner and to know what you're looking for. Sure it might take a little while to find that person who's just right for you, you might go through a few or even many different people before you find someone you're really into but be honest with what you're looking for in a person and you'll eventually find that one person who's just right for you =w= Nobody's perfect but if you can unconditionally love someone for their strengths and weaknesses and they can do the same for you then you've found someone perfect for you! So I think that'll do - just a big ol' bible on what I think of the topic, using my experiences to explain why I think the way I do and giving a little bit of advice for those who might be struggling themselves :3