I'm making a story!!!

Soooo yep, it's a bit mystery and thriller It's just the prologue please lemme know what your thoughts about this? ============================================================= ‘It's easy to make mistakes. It's living with the consequences of them is the hardest.’ The thought came up to Zaira’s mind as she looked at her own reflection in the mirror. It wasn't her fault it came into this, even though it started in her own actions. Depression isn't what she feels in this moment. It’s the guilt and fear she feels on herself for all the things she’s done. Tears fell down as she heard a certain voice over and over again. “You know I love you”, “Please let me out”, “I’ll behave, I promise”. These words means nothing to her, she’s tired and wants to sleep but then she can’t ignore the voice that keeps on repeating those words. She’s afraid that once she closed her eyes, everyone will know about them. Everyone will know the deepest darkest secret she has kept for a very long time. It’s not that she’s ashamed of it; it is because she’s scared of it. And for them to judge her is the last thing she wanted.

I'm no novelist but as a reader, I feel some of the sentences need some editing. I get what you're trying to say but the sentences don't flow grammatically. Apologises if this is not the case, but I get the impression English isn't your first language, if so don't sweat on it too much. Still too early to say if it's good or bad. It's a nice start though, just needs some polishing up.

Thank you! I'm quite aware of that too because I just did it in a short notice/last night. It's not fully polished and I used analogy too much in it (^_^.)

A piece of advice, if you're gunning for a mystery story, make you've got the whole synopsys laid down and ready before you dig in. The last thing you want is reach the middle of the story only to realise that you've left some plot holes. Courage and give us more.

I already got plots going through my head, but I can't lay it down in the prologue because it will just give away what the story is about ^_^; I'm sorta seeking for a cliffhanger type of mystery story. Thank you for the advice! I'm working on it now :3

I mean for yourself, not for us. I'm doing similar myself. First I right down a general idea of the story chapter by chapter, then I connect it all piece by piece, it avoids confusion, and it also makes it easy to know where to include foreshadowing, and less important. Last, by doing it this way I can make sure that I avoid leaving long sections of a story without something major happening. But hey, I'm no author yet, so take it with a grain of salt, lol.

You're right, and my story will have lots of flashbacks in it. It might confuse the readers whether it's still the present time or the flashback of the story. Don't sweat it! I'm learning because of people's advices. Any commentaries in my works would be much appreciated :3