What are you most attracted to?

So I've heard as far as narcissism is concerned. That's more of a concession on my part to show the fact that I care about the woman's needs. And yes, I've been on a huge exercise kick. I was doing hardcore crossfit until I injured my shoulder, and now I just do cardio, push ups and sit ups. Honestly, if the woman I want is willing, it could be intimate to just go on runs together early in the morning. Yet I can't seem to f-ing shed that flab, and it baffles me. It isn't like I'm not trying, but it is a problem of expectation vs reality. I.E. Exercising a ton, expecting to shed the flab, but only losing weight with empty flab. It annoys and disgusts me. Hmm, I am in a pickle about that whole shaving and buzzing thing. I'm not particularly skilled and I feel like it would feel a bit awkward. Especially considering my sensitivity to temperature. Plus it makes me feel like I'm looking entirely different. I'm already super insecure over my looks and my beard is literally the only appearance thing I have confidence in. I believe myself to be a massive survivor of many horrible incidents in my life, and I believe I've come out of it mostly intact and with a mature perspective. I want to bring the best out of someone I find, and vice versa. Everyone needs someone to kickstart their life in a positive direction at times, and usually finding that one person is the key difference between being damn good and being damn GREAT. Of course, I do expect myself to give as much as I receive. That was my whole bit about being a blank slate. That was my way of communicating my openness and willingness to alter myself to appeal to a woman better. I happen to prefer flowery words and metaphors that come across as elegant, when I honestly probably shouldn't considering it only confuses people about me further. Am I a bit condescending? Sure, but honestly my attitude isn't to just plug my own talents, but show off the pride I have in the people who spent the time giving me the wonderful education that only I have received. I feel that if I don't act the way I do, it is tantamount to disrespect to those who give to you. I am an overly self-conscious, very self-reflective, very fair, open, honest but miserable and jaded malcontent. I don't like acting untrue to myself, and if lying is the only way I can fit in, then there's no point in fitting in. Despite the way I am, I have an immense respect for those who gave me such a wonderful education and a respect for those who paved the way for me to have the intellect I do, that nothing short of cockiness and confidence is disrespect. I'd rather disrespect those who haven't earned their stripes and be hated and villified for it rather than disrespect those who gave me so much. I am a person who adores selflessness and self-sacrifice, and honestly I am willing to give for flaws in personality as well. All I care, is that I reach my shelter from the evils of this world. Not necessarily an escape, which is impossible to be, but a place of rest, which is the point of traditional gender roles. Simple, happy and comforting. I totally get the odds people have with Dysphoria btw, I ain't knocking them, because honestly I have a very disturbed and warped view of both genders to where I realize people who have it would laugh at me for being so pathetic about it, so I totally understand why people have issues with it. I just decided not to think too hard on the roles, and focused on my needs as an individual. However, I will truly take to note what you said about narcissists. I am a bit of one myself, but because of personal confidence in everything but my appearance. (I also have a very warped view of narcissism/confidence/arrogance albeit by now that's probably very clear) and I was just wanting to be open and willing to concede. One thing I've learned in life, is even the most basic of platonic relationships takes work and time for things to work. So the next level must therefore be more intrinsically difficult. By the way, I didn't know that fact. That's pretty cool, especially to an audiophile like me. Yet I also have to deal with my own flaw of jadedness that voice =/= to physical and emotional beauty. Thanks for the tips y'all, I'll keep on this site, but I honestly won't expect it to be a place that works.

I don't think what you want is true narcissism, Just someone with self love(Goals, Drive, works to keep up appearance.), and Confidence. While they both come off as similar at first, Narcissism's darker side that will always show up, Is something No one person should live with. Hmm, well the last bit of flag is always the hardest to get rid of. You should try to perhaps change up your diet at bit and to definitely change your workout, perhaps to work on the specific area you're having trouble getting rid of that bit of extra fat. Your body will often get used to certain exercises if you do them for so long. So it's always good to mix things up. I don't mean shave your beard, I meant your head. Facial hair, is all on you dude. I can grow a great beard really quick, But I personally prefer to keep a shaved/five o'clock shadow look. We all have our own tastes there. But shaving your head basically nullifies the issue with any balding spot. We all have our own tragedies in life, What's most important is how we let the events effect us and our lives in the end. Making them into a strength is the best thing you can do. If you can't be yourself in a relationship, it was never worth it to begin with. I'm more of a traditional gender roles kinda guy myself, But it's neither a must nor even a preference, I just see what works honestly. So whatever works for you, or another person is good, and it will never be the exactly the same. We're all individuals after all. Almost everything worth keeping or getting in life takes work, in my eyes. And as someone who has been in a serious relationship long term before, I can tell as a fact, Yes, a relationship is far harder to keep up than just a friendship, that's because the times are amplified, but it's also easier and more natural, during the good times. Keeping a relationship 70% of it, is all in communication and how you both react during the bad times that will always come to every couple at some point. The site actually does work, But it's best it's not the only place you go looking, To find someone special you want to look in as many places as possible. Including rl.

Mentally, I don't need a nobel prize winner, but someone whom at least has some logical thought train and will take intellectual interest outside of the more superficial side of western society. Responsibility with finances and general everyday life is a plus (no criminal record). I will easily understand having tens of thousands in things like student loan debt, but if you're swimming in thousands of credit card debt continuing to buy crap you don't need while living paycheck to paycheck and you don't have enough wherewithal to keep yourself within a reasonable budget each month, it's frankly not a desirable trait to have in a significant other. And yes, as much as people like to downplay it, physical attraction is important. It's hard to be in a relationship with someone you're not attracted to. I don't need a super model size 4 girl myself given I'm hardly an adonnis in my own right, but I do make an effort to exercise six days per week and keep my weight at a reasonable level. I weigh about 170 myself, and I don't think it's asking the world for a girl who weighs around that or less. I actually don't mind a curvier women, but when you start heading north of 200lbs, it's time to seriously look at course correcting your lifestyle and making a reasonable effort to do something about it.

Mentally? Someone who is funny! I really like to laugh and a person with an outgoing personality is so cuuuute! I like a little hothead, For some reason it's a turn on when a male of female is mad. Maybe because you can calm them down with kisses? Someone who is Bold. Able to speak their mind and not be afraid if there hated or not. Oh! And a person who always wants to protect their little Henny! {Me!!} Physically? CURLY HAIR! Oh My, I ADORE playing in peoples hair!! Long, Short, Medium, Red, Blonde, Brunette. I don't care. I don't discriminate. Pretty eyes. I mean my eyes are basic, but when I see a guy {or girl} with adorable blue, green, gray eyes it just melt my heart. Annnnnd I love a tall person! I like feeling small! In the end, I just love people! So I'm open to anyone!

Rain- Oh I can definitely see the appeal of having someone who is intelligent, or at least on your intellectual level, It lead to many interesting conversations, that even if you disagree, can be fun if you're both civil. Oh God, I've never even thought of debt,(Mostly because I've always been a saver rather than a spender.) But very good point there. It's not too high standards, expecting your SO to take care of themselves, It's not even just physical, but it affects happiness levels, and also shows a sense of self love and responsibility. Henny- Sense of humor is always a great thing! That said, I'd like to personally warn you about the whole hothead remark, my ex was the same way. Thing is, she pissed me off so she could see me angry. And she was lucky I have high levels of self control, because like me, there are many guys, that have a more... violent disposition when angry. So all I'm going to say, is be careful with that, And NEVER piss anyone off on purpose, it's a bitch/dick move. Not saying you do. Just saying, Don't do it. Curly hair is nice, I like the more wavy than heavy curls personally. Everyone has unique eyes, It's how you use them that matters, Happy eyes vs Unhappy eyes, are a big difference. Alot of girls like tall guys, I don't care as much about height, but I like small girls myself. To this we can agree! Spread the love!

basically someone who's into the same things i am or willing to try them besides that anyone who could be who they are and like me for me

That's a very simple answer pok, But hey sometimes simplicity can be bliss, so go for it. Having someone who has things in common is always very important, and having an open minded partner, is personally a must for me.

I'm most attracted to personality/interests, for me boils down to feelings, I can't enjoy my time with someone if we don't get along or share anything in common. Looks are just superficial and if you go with someone based on just what you first impression is of what you see you'll never be happy. I've only been with 1 person and we met online, didn't know each others face and were together 8 years happily. Lived together for 3. Sure it didn't work out but I guess she just wasn't the one.