Anti-female

Finally it seems like you're opening up if just a little bit. That was a lot better to read, although you still have some things to work out. I won't ask you to stop trying to help people. I get the feeling of wanting to help. The biggest problem you face is when your attempt to help is actually a negative thing. Sometimes it can be better to do nothing, or at least watch by the wayside until you have a better opportunity. It means that in the ability of helping, you are still lacking. Put another way, it means there's ways for you to improve and get better at what you love to do. Second, in order to insist upon something to someone, you have to be able to back it up. People are flexible generally speaking, but are very sturdy with specific beliefs. If you want to convince someone that they're wrong about something you're going to have to break the illusionary world they've built up, which means they're going to have to be exposed to facts that break their illusions, many of them, over a long period of time. It's the difference between insistence and perseverance, though the definitions are similar, the specific application is very different. You also must always question yourself, because you aren't perfect, and you're human just like everyone else. The subjects in knowledge you feel might not apply to what you're arguing could very well apply if only you knew it. The experiences you have or haven't had could be distorting your perspective or giving you an incomplete picture. You could be doing your best to separate your emotions or bias, but it's literally impossible to do it at a 100% rate of efficacy. But possibly the biggest thing you need to learn above all else is how to deal with your own ego when interacting with others. We all our own masters of our own domains. Our own perspective is inherently biased towards ourselves. Life begins and ends with ourselves, because it is the only life we will ever know. It's to that extent that I don't believe you need to reduce the level of your ego. You merely need to control it. For people you would ever actually want to discuss or learn from, your own ego will be in the way, and you should lock it up. For people who really do have a weaker ego than your own, your own ego will be an oppressive force, and you will be considered a bully beyond anything else you would wish to be. For people who would truly oppress you, this is when your ego is most useful, however at this moment I'm not confident you have the understanding to properly distinguish this particular scenario from the rest. Though I do believe you can learn. It's okay to feel arrogance. It's never okay to behave arrogantly. Every merit you ever claim to have must be justified to the person you speak to, or else it's worth less than trash, it's a dirty claim. Proper communication is something almost anyone can learn regardless of their background. There are truly unfortunate people who will have extreme difficulty or it may even be impossible, but I don't think for a second you belong to that category.

Well, I've been open, but I went about my open nature incorrectly. The problem I have is the notion of proving to someone that what I've done is my backup though. I wasn't making stuff up with the election stuff. I did a ton of stuff I wasn't proud of to get it done. I've always had a knack for stuff that involves manipulation of negative emotions, and using said negative emotions to get what I desire. The problem is, no one believes it. It is hard to believe, I know, but the truth of the matter is, anyone can do it. If they know enough of psychology, of how to play with various demographics of a country, and understand the consequences their actions are (I.E. for example, building the rise of a special interest group, then using peoples' own bad habits within said community to paint one side in a negative light.) Without the toxic nature behind the election, Trump wouldn't have won. I have however, seem to have been celebrating a bit too much in that aspect though. I stopped believing I was perfect though when I was 14, and saw how I made some horrific mistakes in the past. My negative treatment of others stems from how I've been treated in the past, as well as those I care for. It influences a ton of how I view other people. I don't view people negatively from a point of condescension, but rather empathy for those who have been hurt by other people as a whole. And yes, my biggest problem is the way I portray myself and deal with my ego. And to be honest, you are entirely correct. One of my biggest struggles in life are distinguishing the scenario of people who wish to oppress me from everyone else. I've seen the horrible things I've done in the past and the things others have done to me and those I care for in the past, and I heavily associate everyone negatively as a result. I don't seek to be condescending, and my negative viewpoints are from a point of compassion, jadedness and loss. It has always been my view that despite my own strengths, my weaknesses disqualify me from having a right to worth of life. After a certain point in this thread, I was more upset that someone who saw it my way was insulted for it. I was trying to figure out how to fix the argument I had created, and that was what I was shooting for with megi. For I had thought at that point to step back and look at it from a different way. And while I do desire to learn how to communicate things properly, it isn't really to fit in with society. I believe that the things I've done wrong in life, and the people I've cared for have been hurt so much by it, make me feel absolutely alien and hostile in return. And yes, you are right. I can learn proper communication. I've been trying to by interacting with other people constantly. Always trying to better my social skills, because I've long been aware that it is my biggest weakness. I've been trying my hardest, and trust me, the person you are talking to is far different than me even two years ago. However, I do have a stubborn streak, and I act the way I do because I respect the education I was given and the trust I was afforded when everyone else chose to forsake me. Ever since that person died, I could not look at people the same. The whole "grey blob" perception I have isn't condescension, it is distrust and fear. Distrust as in I can't trust people in the slightest in the past, and that I can't trust people with myself in return, and fear that what happened to those I care for, will happen to me. I've been too focused on building my own personal strength that I've constantly neglected my social skills in the past. I wanted to come on here to find someone to understand my obfuscated mindset, and heal my own pain and misery. I came onto here to help me find a better life path for myself, and in repayment use the talents I have to repay it.

Something I pointed out earlier, that you shouldn't begin with respect or disrespect, that they're both earned... well the same is true of trust and distrust. You don't have to trust everyone you meet or anyone you meet. The lack of trust doesn't have to be distrust. There is a comfortable zero, where you keep people on the fence until you have something of determinable value to sway them to one side or the other, and even then it can be small gradual steps. As far as what you believe you influenced in the election, you're already starting with a terrible premise with respect to me. I believed Trump was going to win from the very beginning, and I had very strong foundational reasoning for it. As such, I don't believe whatever you contributed as an individual could possibly have ever done much to sway something towards what I already believed to be the case. And we can talk about that if you want, but I must warn you that politics takes up quite a bit of my own personal time, and it's something I know quite a lot about, so I only advise you that you are able to back up any claim that you make, and you should probably do so preemptively.

@shinu While that may be the case, and you may be well-versed in politics, I'm kinda nervous as to discuss with you anything related on the notion that you may take politics a little too much by the book. I find it difficult to talk to you on anything tentatively, so if you are fine with talking about it, I am too. However, I'm going to do my absolute best to avoid ad hominem, so I would hope you would do the same. I don't disrespect your knowledge. What I am concerned however, is the rigidity of your practice, so to speak. The things I would discuss are interchangeable and intermingled with other aspects and usages of psychology and basic tactics that exploit holes in the system. As to whether or not Trump was going to win, well that is something I can't exactly agree with, since no one is guaranteed a win unless they control the circumstances in its entirety. I don't mind political discussion. I just don't want it degenerating like last time.

Oh they finally break him in such sad development. He gave up for the sake of fitting in. I guess it was not worth it to read 20 pages. Now this is not fun at all.