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should the guy make the first move

klue
So there is a "looking for a relationship" topic it it mainly consists of men's posts. This is basically people(guys) saying they want a girlfriend but they are to shy or anxious to actually talk to a girl/woman on this site, so my question is should these guys actively talk to the women on here in order to form a relationship instead of waiting for a woman to message them (Hopefully tis wasn't to confusing)
yaasshat
Here's the one size fits all answers and it's the same as your location...It doesn't matter. There's no answer that will cover every nuance. Like a chick (or dude. No judging.)? Make a move. What's the worst that happens? You get shot down? Well, better dust off that ego, chill and try again. Neither sex should put in most of the effort,that'd just mean someone is toying with the other. Relationships have or should have a sort of natural ebb and flow, and this applies to even making an interest known. Try for freinds first on here, before you commit social suicide. But, you do you.
klue
But the "looking for a relationship" is a way to put your self out there while maintaining a safety net and if your not a particularly confident person (like myself) it seems greet but then you put yourself out there and nothing happens and let's say you have anxiety or something similar how do you go about this and especially on this site where you become like every other guy if you just friend every female on the site i guess what I'm asking is what's another way of putting yourself out there while still maintaining that safety net
makotoharuki
I go both ways, safety net and making the first move. Idk if people are just picky or if I'm unlikeable or boring. I try every way I can but no results :(
manga_bird
Well, adding every girl on the site isn't the right way to go either. Read bios and see if you have anything in common with these girls first. There's no point in adding loads of people who have nothing to talk about with you. You can also put yourself out there by joining in with the forums, and by that I don't mean making an 'I want a girlfriend, apply here!' kind of thread. If you talk about different topics that interest you then naturally there will be some girls who share your opinions and interests who will join in, thus friendships are formed and deeper bonds have the potential to form.
vanessa86
This account has been suspended.
saber
I will add a bit of perspective here - From what I see here and other places, too many males are too forthright or specific about their intentions (That being finding a girl/woman for a romantic relationship). The ladies will likely assume that if the guys in question were so special or desirable, they wouldn't have to resort to posting in a "looking for a relationship" thread along with the other things they do or write on their profile page. It also creates expectations and pressure - which often prevents things from budding. This all applies to both genders. What I like about MaiOtaku is the fact that it's not a high pressure dating site and it's great for finding friends or people to simply chat with.
ouma_adam
But that defeats the purpose of a dating site. While this site is a low pressure environment, if there's a lack of effort (which there most always is), it becomes one sided again putting pressure on the male to make a move or actively chase. Hiding behind a computer monitor, can't get anymore anonymous than this. For people who did come here with the intention of a relationship, there should be a better organized effort on both ends to communicate. That's the purpose of online dating, to skip the cliches and cut to the chase. Suppose if one did take the time to just engage more in forum activity and slowly drag it out, you have the risk of just friendzoning yourself or getting friendzoned. I'm just saying, it seems people want to have their cake and eat it too, especially women. You can't expect someone to randomly take interest. Even IRL...its almost 2018....especially with the amount of political correctness, you shouldn't have to wait around, especially if someone believes in equality, there's no reason why a woman shouldn't make the first move, but that will be the day when pigs fly. With the pressure being entirely on the male to add/friend up people and chat them up, it can also come off desperate. Then you get the "please say something else than just Hey or Whats up etc." You see what i mean? It just goes back and forth like this and nothing amounts of it. With that being said, no, i don't think the guy should make the first move because there is usually a huge lack of effort on the other end, and nothing amounts from it. But MaiOtaku is not a dating site anyways, its just become a forum for anime enthusiasts to share their interest for anime. If someone really wants a romantic relationship with a more direct approach, an actual dating site is probably better suited. Again, even then judging by the amount of bitter threads, it seems its left up to the guy to message a girl of interest first, leaving it up to her to evaluate him and see if he satisfies her needs. Its never equal, a woman's inbox is probably flooded with messages daily. To be honest online dating is just a mess.
azanarchy
I don’t think a guy has to be the one to make the first move. That’s a little silly. While I believe that though, if someone expects for the other person to always make a move and wait around, you’re going to miss out. If you want something enough either sex should go for it instead of having a Mexican stand off. Nothing will ever come of anyone constantly hiding behind anxiety and shyness. You need to break out of your shell and make things happen for yourself instead of expecting them to fall in your lap. It could also be that not a lot of girls go browsing through the 1000+ posts. I’ve always had the belief that love is a gamble and you win some you lose some but you’ll never get anywhere if you don’t take a bit of risk
jordanfromohio
I agree with the poster above me, and like they said love is a gamble but if you start out looking for friends and it envoles into something more then you are in a good position. Dont be afraid to take the first step.
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