Vent

Boys and girls classes are different here but there are 2 girls that study in our class for their and the teachers convenience. One of them is SO GOD DAMN CUTE. She gives me butterflies and stuff. Everyday I get ready for class like I'm going on a date XD. I've caught feelings. I've caught her staring at me a couple of times but I don't know if she finds me attractive or has has noticed me staring at her and thinks I'm creepy XD. Why are these girls so fucking beautiful? She's all I've been thinking about for the last week. She makes me look forward to class. If only there were no restrictions here. I would've tried to talk with her the moment I saw her. I HATE THIS COUNTRY.

Words that stick in my head still are, "Don't message me until you get over your crush", coming from one of my closest friends downplaying my confession to her like it's some little elementary school crush. If she was my closest friend she would have talked it out with me in a call to get rid of all the missed context and set the record straight. But no cutting me out seemed alot easier for her like I was fucking garbage. Used me for ego boosts and even laughed about me asking her out 2 weeks prior when I asked her to hang as friends watching hxh. I'm trying so hard to hold onto my self worth but after that ,and a month of nothing from her, I feel worthless. I fucking hate her guts.

Don´t boost girls just for their looks/same with guys. It is superficial and has no meaning. There are a lot of girls on the internet, and yes on here as well, who seek validation. They leave, come back and look for more. I am not saying it is the best thing to ignore those people, just stop giving them validation.

This is irl tho and I knew her for years so having her treat me like this hurts a shit load. Idk why I thought about it a month later. I thought I was fine.