Vent

I have a lot of knowledge, have learned a lot of things, worked in many different types of jobs. I study on my own, learn from where I can free sites, or other people who are qualified. But no matter how much I learn, how much I apply myself, how much I want it. Unless I have a certificate from a place that doesn't matter and is gonna cost me 30 thousand or more for 2-8 years depending on what I'm going for or how long I'm there. Apparently it doesn't F***ing matter.

When I have time and silence to think to myself, sometimes I end up questioning my own existence. I was put on what is possibly the only rock with intelligent life in what's considered to be an infinite universe, being one of the 7 billion having won the race to be born out of 200 million other racers. Am I here for a purpose or is this just luck? I'd hate the idea of being placed here for one singular purpose But the thought of not having one is equally as frightening.

I love making friends and I am generally considered to be a very friendly person but it’s really hard for me to keep a decent conversation with people here.

I was so completely heartbroken and stressed last night.. it got so bad and I’m sick of it. I just want to be accepted fully and happy. I want be respected.

I'm working from home during quarantine and our boss is giving us an ultimatum which will either result into us putting our lives into danger or maintaining a job with no HMO or health insurance, no benefits whatsoever plus our boss is a jerk. The office is two hours away from here and honestly, ever since we started working from home I've never been happier. I don't have to hear his voice or see his face. I can focus on work and get paid. He's forcing us to come back and I want to quit but I'm also slightly worried whether or not I can find a new job to replace this one immediately. Who knows how this crisis will last? My mental health has gotten so much better but he doesn't want us to continue working from home. He wants to keep us all locked inside the office where the possibility of contracting the virus are much higher. He doesn't care what happens to us so why should I care what happens to his company?

F your boss he sucks

I’ve been pretty strong through the break up and keeping a good attitude. Today is really hard for some reason and I find myself crying without knowing why... I just feel this heaviness in my chest and I hope this feeling passes soon.