Conversing in writing

I'm trying to have two people conversing, and I'm not sure exactly how it should be done. Here is what I have: "Mr. Q, Can I talk to you?" He said trying to get Mr Q's attention. Mr. Q turned to face Damion "What is it Damion?" asked Mr. Q. "I missed my bus sir" said Damion as his voice lowered in volume. "Well, let's call your parents and see if they'll come pick you up." Said Mr. Q

hmm how about something like this: "Mr. Q, Can I talk to you?" His eyes affixed against the ground, unusually determined to not make eye contact with his superior. Mr Q twisted on his right heel to face Damion, bending his knees slightly to force himself into Damion's line of sight. "What's wrong now, Damion?" He asked his junior, softly placing his hand on Damion's shoulder as he spoke. "I've missed my bus sir, I'm.. very sorry sir" Damion's voice cracked as he struggled to voice his problem. "I understand" Mr Q sighed with relief, "Come with me to the faculty office upstairs, we'll see if your parents can pick you up." A cold chill ran through the air as the suggestion hung in the air like paralyzing smoke. Mr Q didn't let this go unnoticed, as he carefully watched Damion's quickening breaths, he considered retracting his offer and taking the child home himself. Damion forced a frail smile as he nodded in agreement, his eyes raising for the first time since they had begun conversing. He was holding back tears with every ounce of his strength, even Mr Q who only knew him in passing could tell. RIGHTY, now to explain: you notice i've made most of the changes in accordance to adding more context to the conversation. if you notice, you've used almost an identical level of formality with Mr.Q's speech and Damion's bar 1 use of the word sir, although in reality, there would be level of authority in how damion talks to Mr.Q. In addition, consider the emotions they would go through at each conversational part. Damion would feel embarrassed, asking the teacher to help with something like this. Mr Q would feel absent, on a completly diffrent wavelength to the conversation, but as a teacher he would help out of a sense of duty and morale. anything else i can help with hmu, i was a D student in english but i studied and studied until i could comepletly understand creative writing at a similar level to maths (which i am an A* by comparison.) basically you want to try a shove as much outer context whenever you converse in writing, i once wrote a 3 page exert on a fight and a conversation, metaphors do wonders to both explain and infer an alternate image. Take a big ass muscle bound guy with long hair. We could say he's just that, or you can say "Jet black hair cascaded down his muscular back, like a waterfall of crude oil down the crevice of a mountainside. It truly felt like i was David, versing the Goliath in legend" see how the initial metaphor compliments the after opinion of the writer, thats the kind of thing i think is needed, it also helps break the conversation up, making it feel more natural imo