I need serious advice ._.

again i agree with lamby. take it slow, feel things out. this way he can find out more about her personality. if she really will be a good candidate or not. it also pisses me off as my mother was similar, and is somewhat, at least a little, stereotypical, in that after she met me after she adopted me out, she loved me a lot, and still does. It was no easy feat for her to find guys that would even want to go on dates with her, because she and i lived together. Now that we do not live together, she may have more luck. it is just this attitude that every mother (or even father) that cares about their kids, that they will never have time for you, is extremely closed minded. Granted it is less strenuous circumstances in the case of my mother and i, due to me being "grown up and mature" (ish), thus i don't need attention all the time. I think the first thing you would need to understand is that these are living beings that are young, and thus NEED a HELL of a lot more help than you do. And additionally, maybe you could even bond with her kids. (which happened with me and my mother's ex, we bonded pretty well till he went kinda nuts and assaulted her). The fact that you could bond with her kids is also a good thing for you and her's relationship, if you can bond with them, then you can bond with her in a different way than you might bond with someone without kids. It is special. human beings are far too complicated to say simply "yes" or "no" to this situation. It can only be a maybe. Because after all, you aren't part of her mind and know each and every thought. The only thing you can do, is try to figure it out. Delve into her world, but not too hard right now. And see how things go. but what the hell do i know, im just a spooky creepy lolicon who tries very hard to avoid black or white thinking. as well as many other things. as stated before. i, like her, and yourself, and many others, am extremely complex in mind.

Way to much thinking going on here, you like her yes or no? yes??? ask her out. You can or cannot accept children, yes or no? yes ask her out.. You can go over a million possible scenarios and way things could go wrong or right, but thats just all Bullshit. Do what makes you happy in a way that does not harm others, and simply pay ####### attention, dont dream about what could go wrong right just witness reality as it is and make the right damned decision based on that.. Peace and Love Bruh

Look, I'm not here to contradict you or anything on your personal experiences, Lamby, it's just it's true that some women take advantage of men for their own good, that happens too, maybe your mom wasn't like that and that's ok, I'm sorry she didn't get to see more opportunities due to that kind of misunderstandings but still, in this case the guy should be smart and also take care of himself. In life, you will always have to see for yourself first than others, that's how it works best. Now if you're mad because she's pretty and that makes other people consider her a vain person, nothing you can actually do about it, it's up to the girl to prove him wrong, which, seemingly, is what he's doing, giving her a try.

thats all lamby was saying i think. people are weird. swinging to one extreme or another. it's extremely dangerous. and is what causes most of these issues for everyone.

It's a bit ironic she's coming to you now saying she has feelings for you after having two children. That alone to me is a huge red flag. What happened with the "well endowed" bf who knocked her up in the first place and put two kids in her? Single mother and having a difficult time or not, to me she's treating you as the fall back plan after things didn't work out with the baby daddy given you expressed feelings for her that she probably didn't reciprocate at that time. She remembers the nice guy who said she liked her before her datability took a nose dive after having to two kids and is now coming back to you hoping you'll jump back on board the boat that left you long ago. Frankly dude, I wouldn't touch that situation with a 10 foot pole. You're a young dude whose got his whole life ahead of him and probably has lots of things he wants to do in life. At best, you're going to be a second banana because her kids are her number one priority. Goodbye going out and hello babysitting dates sitting at her home. Bogging yourself down now with a girl who won't have you as her primary focus is the last thing you need with so many other people to choose from. You're better off staying single for the next 10 years than dealing with a situation like that imo.

Listen to Rain. Although it doesn't hurt to go into it and see what happens. The biggest mistake would be to get drunk of the idea that the girl you've like for so long is now showing affection towards you, so you do whatever the fuck she wants. Around a year ago, I was in that situation. She has a kid... and it took me a looooooooong time before I finally accepted that she was just using me for financial support and as a stand-in dad for her kid. She drug me through the mud for a long time, and I let her because I was too desperate for her attention. Give it a try. But listen to Rain. Also, how do you know this previous dude has a big dick? Do you have inside conversations with the women he's slept with? Because it's not like it's something guys talk about with other guys. "Hey bro, did you hear about Jimmy? Word on the street is he's got a huge penis." I just find it... odd you're so clearly aware of it. It actually made me think your story was fake at first.

I feel like you should understand the pitfalls of blindly following the advice of strangers. It's good for broad strokes in the beginning but ultimately come to the decision that's best for you. Relationship advice is not like medical or legal advice, it's too subjective for absolutes to be good advice in every situation.

In my opinion, don't do it man. You guys can still be friends, but i would keep my distance. It seems she's going through an emotional roller coaster and could be trying to use you as a plan B. Think about it, why would she come running to you and express her feelings now AFTER having not only physical encounters with someone else but having 2 children with them? You ain't her fall back guy, her man walked out on her and now she's chasing Mr.Nice Guy because she knows she can manipulate you. It's nice that you care for her as a friend, but you have a whole life ahead of you, now isn't the time for fatherhood. Your friend and her baby father need to take responsibility for their actions, not you. Now that she is a mother of two, she will most definitely try to fill that father gap with you, who else is suppose to feed them if she's at home taking care of the kids? The problem with giving her a chance is that this is all too soon, she probably still doesn't know what she wants and you don't want to get tangled in something you're not ready for. You were always there for her back then, and yet she neglected your feelings for someone who would later leave her as a single mother of two. Honestly, its up to you, but you're playing with fire if you choose to pursue.