A lost Aspie Otaku

Wait are you f-ing serious? Not going to deviate off of a topic for a selfish comment. Anyways, so you want a gf huh but you have a social disorder? Well to start off, in America and the culture here is that men need to be confident and need to be leaders in relationships. In order to date a girl with the Anime community you're going to need confidence without a doubt. As far as meet up groups, there's an app called meetup. It allows you to see alot of groups within your area and look up specific tags. Now if you're not opposed to travelling/learning languages/learning about cultures, you could go to a different country. For an example, many hispanic women are not afraid to approach the man. Keep in mind that none of this is is 100% true as each girl is different. Just keep trying and be yourself... and not creepy.

No matter who you are, how you look and what difficulties you have, doesn't make you any inferior to others if you try and put effort. Being yourself and making your move when you FEEL like it. It's always awkward when you are forcing yourself to do something, do it naturally, if the girl doesn't like it, then it's better to stay as friends than go further. Having friends is also great, sometimes better than being in relationship tbh. But to give advice, confidence and doing things you like. When you are in your element you will be more confident and have something to show. I agree you should be very confident if you want to date otaku girl. Yet again, it all depends on the girl herself sine there are many different girls out there. Good luck and may the fore be with you.

Call it selfish if you like. Obviously I didn't divulge in every detail of my circumstance, which lead to your lack of knowledge of what exactly happened, but, you can make any assumptions you wish. Your, as well as most others here, opinion of me matters very little.

No mule I wasn't talking to you. I was talking about that person that is using someone else's suffering for their advantage or promotes it. I have no clue what you said so there is no need to get triggered.

There is no triggering. Had I been triggered, there would be anger or frustration of sorts in my tone. You made no direct correlation to the post of which you're referring to, therefore it is always believed in those cases that it is the previous message that you are responding to. Being that isn't the case and you meant a previous post, it's up to you to make that point clear.

Thanks Angelica! I had forgotten about Meetups... Though, double-checking it reminds me of why: doing a search found: 0 groups. My particular problem is circular; I live in an area where I need to generally go to Salt Lake to do stuff, and I don't know what places work for an anime-ish grouping. I wouldn't mind to try setting up a group, if only I had a way to make it feasible! Literally no one cares to travel the half hour to my location to do things, despite my having an awesome set up for it! So instead I always have to do that travel myself. Not exactly cheap, I don't have an amazing job (been jobless for the last two months anyways, which hasn't helped, though I will start my new one in a week). I don't mind doing work for dating, I consider it a given; it's just frustrating that for any level of interaction, even the regular friendships I have to do all the traveling (those 1-2 hour drives round trip REALLY add up, that is SO not being whiny). And, yeah, I'd LOVE to move, but it's just not an option at present, so I'm trying to make do with what I've got. Also, Mule, thanks for the advice. Not bad advice, mistimed posting regardless, but I kinda have that covered anyways. If anything, it's the other way around for me: I seem to do all the emotional carrying. Not that I've got tons of experience, but hey. I've worked hard to be open to people (kind of a survival tactic, really, in my life), so it's difficult that either no one is interested in me, or else they are the ones refusing to show it.

I'm glad to hear that you'll be able to do so. Either party becoming hurt due to miscommunication of feelings is a terrible one, believe me. Other than that, I wouldn't bring up aspergers off the bat. Let people get to know you first, see who you are, etc etc, and after you're comfortable together, let them know. If you let them know about it too soon, you run the possibility of scaring them away; there aren't a lot of people who are willing to be patient with people of special needs. If they see who you are at first, and are accepting of that, let them know then. Showing them that you are a "functional" human, and not "broken" or "needing special care", you'll have a much higher success rate. Basically, if you give yourself a handicap at the start, you'll sabotage a lot of opportunities you may have had due to their fear of the unknown. If you tell them after they get to know you and they run after, that just shows the kind of person they really were and better for you anyway.

Yeah. That's how I normally am. It's only barely that I actually got diagnosed (it had been suggested years ago, but only now happened), so not sure what to do with that info. As far as my life experience goes, it's not something that matters to know anyways since no one really cares: they expect you to be the same regardless of it being impossible. So then I later mention it to them and they go "oh, that's nice" and then go on expecting the same anyways. So it's totally confusing! This is a case where it certainly doesn't feel that knowledge is power, because it just means that I can tell why I'm different but it doesn't matter to anyone else, they don't care if something is harder for me. All that matters is their expectations. So, not like there's a lot of option there: Either do what other people enjoy with them and HOPE it occasionally includes something I can get into (I don't ignore their interests, I get into them. But, YAY, what fun to be one-sided), or be alone and listen to people give overly-repetitive "advice" that I should be with people more. Basically why I joined this site, because I hope it could be possible at least online to find a girl that is interested in sharing both hers and my interests. And what better way to start than a site that at least claims to be targeted at an easily shared interest? Or so one would think.

Well, right. Every relationship should be equal in regards to interests. I mean, given you won't always be interested in things she likes and vice versa, there should be some common ground somewhere, even if it came after giving it a shot for them (if that happens, awesome!). If it's one sided, it's definitely not worth it. You seem to have a good head on you, though. You're going in the right direction and I'm sure you'll find somebody if you follow the road ahead of you.

^_^ Thanks. I hope so! Merry Christmas!