Loneliness

Loneliness? Hard enough trying to have time to myself and being bugged about making money on Grand Theft Auto V. Immediately enough, Adjusting back to slight solitude is a little difficult.

Loneliness I think is being in a room of your peers and still not having anyone you can talk to. A.K.A. shit sucks.

Well, thinking about my Alpaca plushy is enough for me to be happy again. Lonelyness is turned into pure boredom that way.

Everyone feels lonely, what we do is simply surround ourselves with people and/or by entertainment. So to me, loneliness is feeling that in the end only you can trust yourself.

I've seen that word before... http://puu.sh/q1pHB/e72cae8dd1.jpg Oh right. Growing up in my town, I realized that I had a lot of different tastes in things than my peers. What others thought was lame, I thought was great. I thought things were cute when others were indifferent. I enjoyed other activities while others found them boring and vice versa. I couldn't really find a whole lot of people who shared my opinions or interests but I wanted to fit in. So I locked it up and just conformed to everyone else. I still had my quirks but at least I wasn't a total loner going through school. I tried it. It wasn't fun and it made me look unapproachable. Though, the quality of your friends might be low. I kind of dropped contact with all of them after graduating. I'm okay with that though because I know there's more people out there. Your world gets bigger after school. Your odds of meeting people increases. What I'm trying to say is that people need other people in their lives. Even if you try to be alone, unconsciously, you'll always gravitate towards people. I'd rather make friends with someone who's felt loneliness then someone who's been surrounded by friends their whole life. Our lives would probably travel at the same pace.

Loneliness and being alone are two different things imho. Although this case for me is a strange one - the feeling of loneliness often happens when I'm really depressed; despite the fact that I have a number of people I can turn to when I feel down, I just can never really bring myself to say to someone "Hey I'm feeling pretty fucked up, mind helping me out?" - even when it comes to my two best friends, I just want to keep an image of positivity in the presence of others even if I feel terrible deep down. So I often try to find other means to bring myself back to fighting form without having to rely on others. But I know that at some point, I'm going to crash and burn really hard and it's going to eat me from the inside out and at that point I'll need to work up the bravery and courage to tell my best friends, the people I trust more than anyone else in my life even if it means fully revealing how much of a wreck I can be.