MO Meetup/Convention

My advice, stay out of Lounge 21. The security sucks ass and they don't give a shit if you're harassed. I snuck in last year, they didn't even ID me (I don't drink Alcohol) and, dear god, it's probably the second creepiest lounge I've ever been to. It's full of THE BIGGEST fuckbois that have thirst levels beyond the fucking Saharas. Like it's the first time I've seen people publicly grope another individual without consent in quick succession. They always go in cliques and are beyond flamboyant and invade space. It made me cringe harder than the argument I had on Facebook around half an hour ago (and this guy didn't even know the difference between a fact and an opinion). I'm sorry to my fellow males for saying this, but honestly, it's probably around 99% of the sexual harassment comes from us males. That's the truth. Of course there are some women who sexually harass guys, I'm sure most of us have been sexually harassed, but majority of the time, it's the 99% fuckboi population. Trust me, I know, I was THE BIGGESTTTTTT fuckboi. I pretended I was straight for the first 18 years of my life (still technically pretending I'm fully straight IRL). I overcompensated and hit on any girl that my friends thought was attractive (this fucked me over). I was the BIGGEST FUCBOI. But I digress. I don't need to tell you guys this because all of the people here are decent human beings. But I just want to say, if you see anyone getting sexually harassed, don't stay silent. Just say something or do something. With all these "fucks," I felt like I wrote a script to a Black Lagoon episode

Damnit, Anime Expo is running from July 1st to the 4th. July 2nd is like the only day I'm busy all summer. Any chance any of you wana have a meetup some time after Anime expo :p? Sunbae, that all sounds pretty messed up. And I take no offence for the actions of other people. Why'd you pretend to be straight for so long? Otaku2001, if you really want to go to an expo, I'm sure you can make it happen. There has gotta be a few people on here who'd be willing to help out. If I end up going to one of these expos(which I would really like to do), I'd gladly help out a few people with stuff like tickets and hotel fees.

@Majin well, I might prefer men, but men also turn me off. How do I say this... I prefer men until I start talking to one, then I realize what a blessing women are. Also, just to fit in. I know it sounds weak, (because it is) but for a long time, hmm.... I want to say that people probably won't accept me, but really, it's me who won't accept me and it's me who won't accept other people. I'm reallllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy prideful and I can get embarrassed pretty easily and I also worry easily (what the fuck am I even talking about now?). I might be sexually attracted to men, but I've never had an emotional connection with one. I do have a squad of all men, but like that's the group of people that are the boys. They're not boyfriend material when I'm around them. Every single one of us drops most of our common sense when we're around one another and I've never been sexually attracted to my group of friends. And honestly, because I fucked up. I've never even dated a guy but I've dated women in high school due to peer pressure. It was back in Freshman year of high school (when I was extremely fat and short) and it went something like this: Bro 1: "Dude you see that girl right there? She's totally into you!" Me: "Bro, I can't." Bro 1: "Why? She's kinda cute. you should go say hi!" Me: "Dude, I legit can't" Bro 2: "Why? It's obvious she's into you." Bro 1: "C'mon, why can't you?" Me: "Dude, I'm gay." Bro 1: "Alan, don't fuck with me right now, just go!" *pushes me* And apparently, gay guys are supposed to speak femininely and dress femininely and be feminine. Well, I'm still a man. I still like being masculine. I like speaking with confidence and sounding like a cocky librarian. And then I turned into a fuckboi. Where I kinda just said "fuck it" women are more aesthetically pleasing anyway and they have kinder personalities. Well... hmm.... If you want to tune out, here's your chance: I was 17 at the time (I started University 2 months after I turned 17) and I somehow ended up participating in a college party (it was a shady ass party with shady ass people). There was a lot of alcohol involved and a bunch of party goers were drinking it. I hate alcohol and I hate the smell of it and everything, so I didn't drink (I was also to drive two of my friends back to campus that night). So I'm sober and just chilling in the back with a Pomeranian that I found waddling around when a woman who was drunk approached me. Here's your second chance to tune out: She started drunkingly flirting with me and says that her main goal is to get laid that night. It caught me off guard, but not off enough, I declined because well, I'm not sexually attracted to her and legally, I'm still a minor. Then she goes and says something along the lines of "Well fine! I'll just go get some other random guy then!" At this point, I start freaking out. I mean have you talked to the guys here? All of them are major fuckbois and thirst levels, again, beyond the Saharas and they're really sketchy and shady. It took me about a full 20 seconds to process the danger that she's about to put herself into and I grab her arm and tell her it's dangerous. Well, she does the woman thing and says, "DONT TOUCH ME!" I'm still freaking out here because she's putting herself into a dangerous position, so well, I agree to sleep with her. We go into a room upstairs and I start breathing really heavily and my heart beats faster and I feel the pressure inside my head. I basically had an anxiety attack. I stall for as long as I can, which was apparently 15 minutes before she lost interest in me because I haven't made a move or responded the way she wanted and she wanted to make her way downstairs. So to keep her interest, we slept together. And I just want to say, before that night, I was a virgin and apparently, so was she. -Skips forward to morning because I don't want to go into grueling detail- So I feel really shitty because of what I just did. I straight up felt like I betrayed myself, but I told myself it's better than letting someone just go with another random fuckboi and getting herself killed or have a kidney stolen. We both wake up like 2 hours afterwards and she realizes what happened. She felt sorry for herself and for me and it was just like the worst fucking feeling because we both did bad things, right? So I thought we were cool and we were just going to move on and a burden slightly fell off my chest. Until she says, "you have to date me." By her logic, it's because I took her virginity even though she took mine as well and I did it because I was trying to help her. Well, actually, I loved the relationship we were in. For a full year and a half it was lovely. I actually fell in what I think is love with this person. And I realized that well, maybe I don't need to be sexually attracted to them. We ended up splitting due to her accusing me of cheating on her. And I was way too prideful to accept her apology. I mean she attacked my pride and decided to trust someone that she knew for a couple days over me, the person who basically saved her kidneys. I probably should've accepted it, but I couldn't. I'm too childish. I spent an hour thinking about how to respond to this and responding to it.

It's weird but I've only been hit on by girls at parties when I wasn't wanting to hook up with anyone. I had a roommate that was a stripper and he danced lots at college girls birthday parties and I went with as a "bodyguard" which only meant I held on to his clothes and tips. At one of them this drunk girl kept trying to drag me off, I had to brush her off.

Sunbae, that's quite the story.. And what kind of parties are you going to where people have a significant chance of losing their kidneys :P? It doesn't sound like you have family or friends who would disown you for liking men, aswell. I could maybe understand hiding something like that if your parents would kick you out or cut off school funding, ect. And then when you're completely independent you could say, "fuck these bigots!". But ya, sounds like it's more of a personal struggle? Not really sure what the correct moral decision would be during that party with said girl given that she may have been in real danger if she went off on her own. I've also never really understood the whole idea of virginity being such a big deal. I don't see how losing viriginity to someone=love. Although I did fall in love with the first girl I was with :P, but I really liked her as a person aswell. That being said, I'm pretty damn sure if the first person I had been with was the complete scum of the earth, there's no way I'd have fallen for said person. I can't really relate to your story, but thanks for sharing. I can't really see too much of a reason for you to hide your sexuality. Gl becoming more confident with it!

I don't know if I'm hiding it more than I am neglecting it. Like I used to be sure I was full on gay. I thought I realized I was gay and accepted it back in high school, but slowly, but surely, I feel like I'm edging toward women. I'm basically just tired of making the wrong decision. Or rather, decisions that I think are right and then end up backfiring. I also don't get the thing about virginity, but it meant something to me. I don't know why, I just know it did haha. My parents wouldn't kick me out of the house/cut my education funding even if I committed mass murder. To me, my family is worth more than the world. I'd be willing to drop every single one of my morals if it meant protecting them. Sounds cringey and cheesy, but it's the truth. and I'm sure they'd do the same for me. Sometimes, I might not like them, but I will always love them and I know they'll always love me.

@majin I don't like taking charity from people. (It's a pride issue I'm a bit of a narcissist don't know where I got it)