Jealous types.

Firstly, jealousy is the fear of something you have being taken from you, envy is the desire for something someone else has. So some friends and I had been talking about ex-lovers and one of mine sparked a discussion. What everyone latched onto was that my ex, while we dated, went into Nude Modeling while pretty much failing to tell me of it and then becoming pissed when I said I was jealous. but then they gave me a weird look at something I said later on. Personality background on the ex: Insecurity over how she looks and seeks constant validation, hippy family, not the most faithful girl. So my feeling jealous was not anywhere close to being unfounded or unreasonable. My talk with friends ended up turning into a "what is and isn't okay" to each of them. They gave me a weird look when I said nude modeling, stripping, and Naughty cam girl stuff would be okay. "how can you get jealous about nude modeling, but say its okay and then add in that rubbing one out on cam to strangers is also okay???!!!" My logic. I am okay with nude modeling objectively. nothing wrong with it. Cam modeling is also a good way to make some money on the side. Stripping is somewhere in between the former two. I was super jealous because I knew my gf could easily make her modeling job a penthouse letter and that regardless of how she tried to tell me the artists in the room were there "just for the art", her stories of how they would flirt and make less than appropriate jokes about or around her was not doing anything to back up her story. The reason I could easily be okay with nude and cam modeling is because if I am with a person who is loyal and isn't the type to sleep around and cheat on me. I can trust them and it's not a problem. Nudity isn't wrong, so model it and make money if you want. You'll jill off anyways when I'm not home, and if you like the attention why not try to make a little money on the side. Again, stripper is in the middle. Porn star is not anywhere close to the okay zone. not even the same galaxy. If they stay faithful to me, what they do in class, on stage, or on cam wont bother me. no matter what I'll still feel jealous. My friends STILL didn't understand after I explained it like that. "if you're jealous, how can it be okay" Because my being jealous doesn't mean she is doing anything wrong, did something bad, or betrayed me. if we have an understanding and boundaries that neither one of us cross, whats there to be upset about? "but jealousy don't feel good, why would you be in a relationship that makes you feel that way?" HAHAHHAHAHA I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years with a (different)girl who left me bruised physically and emotionally. Me feeling jealous of someones actions means nothing if we get along really well, she is loyal, and she doesnt beat me. Hell, the boundary is pretty much just as long as she doesn't get physical with anyone but me and doesn't fall for someone else. its her life, body, and choice beyond that. OH! good way to phrase it popped into my head. You can be a slut without being a whore. A slut can be loyal, they're just horny and loves attention and sex. A whore is all that, minus being loyal. You can have a different definition of the words, but thats what I am going with for now. BUT here is why I posted. I want to know what you, the lovely and beautiful community of MO, think is a deal breaker, "too far/much", Jealousy act an S.O. could do. Talk about moments you've experienced jealousy that kills you. And lastly! Am I some kind of weirdo?

Also, I know someone is probably going to ask "why post this on MO?" This is a website that is at least 50% about dating. the subject is related to dating and it interests me to hear about what others have to say about the matter. This is a community of Frequently misunderstood people. not only by people around them but by they themselves. This is a subject not many like to talk about so they repress it and ignore and then never learn to understand it. So talk about it and learn about yourself. -reasons subject to change as users try to poke holes.

i dont get jealous that much anymore, people have nice things and have friends and stuff. when you die you dont have that, maybe friends but i believe in a after life. i think inernet friends are just as good

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a5/a6/e8/a5a6e89a7c0eba7626fdcc5caa344dc8.jpg "Baby it's hot outside" WHO TF IS "OUTSIDE" SMH YOU AIN'T SHIT I'M LEAVING

Ooh, this is a tough call. First off, jealousy is a perfectly human experience and you are in no way weird. It still depends on your definition of "weird", but I'm gonna go with you're human and you're experiencing a human emotion, therefore you're "normal". For me, the boundaries I set for myself and relationships on why I get jealous have changed over time and over experience. I realized that the things that bothered me when I was young no longer bother me as much as I got older, met more people, experienced more good and bad things in life. I'm not saying that my core beliefs and values changed or I adjusted my own set of standards to accommodate certain people, but -- how do I explain this -- it's just not a big deal anymore, I guess? My first boyfriend was way older and more experienced than I am. I was 16 and he was my college professor. You have no idea how insecure and jealous I was over trivial things like the amount of time he spent with me, the way he speaks to my other female classmates and the way he speaks to me in class (I was stupid and expected special treatment even inside the classroom), and I even threw a bratty fit over his new graduate student assistant who was female. I'm not going to use my age and lack of life experience as reasons for my petty jealousies (I call them petty now, but they seem like a big deal back then), but if I'm being honest now, I believe the jealousy mainly stemmed from my perceived differences in our "investments" in the relationship to begin with. I expected him to be on the same level as I am, which was crazy because with our 11-year gap, he already saw and went through stuff that I only saw in anime, probably. I made a list (this is the worst thing I or anyone could ever do, by the way) of all the things I felt I "gave up" when I fell in love with him. I gave up meeting new people and hanging out with friends my own age, I didn't go to social gatherings because I was so insecure that a wise and worldly professor was in love with someone as stupid and naive as me so I spent all my time studying (Seriously, I studied things that are outside my major because I had to keep convincing myself that I was worthy of his feelings. This turned out to be a great thing, however, even when our relationship ended. I explored and learned about things that I would have not even paid attention to if I didn't want to impress him so much), I lied to my family and my friends, etc. I didn't realize until after our biggest fight that my insecurities are mainly unwarranted because, what the hell, he already chose me! He already loves me for who I am and I was just basically scaring myself with monsters of my own making. I didn't realize that what he had to give up when he started pursuing me were PRETTY serious, too. He had to always be careful with our dates, he had to lie to his colleagues and superiors, he had to lie to his peers and family. I didn't know that he could end up getting blacklisted in future university positions if people find out he had a relationship with an UNDERAGE student, not to mention that he could go to jail and probably face reclusion perpetua. I didn't know how patient he was with waiting for two years before we could finally be physically intimate (kudos to him for waiting until I turn 18, I'll give him that). All I can say is, it was one hell of a roller coaster ride for us both. :) The things that I probably consider deal breakers now are mostly shaped by my first relationship. I still get jealous when my partner feels comfortable opening himself emotionally and mentally to others more than me. The main difference now is that I couldn't care less if his emotional dumpster is male or female -- I'm an equal opportunity jealous person now! This might sound weird for some, but I'm a bit more forgiving with physical stuff. I personally commit to one person physically, emotionally, mentally when I'm in a relationship. But if my partner ever wants to explore other physical beings, I wouldn't mind much SO LONG AS he was honest about it with me to begin with and if he ever wanted to be intimate with me, I need him to undergo a complete STD/health check up first. My physical health is much more important than my sex drive. Nothing much fazes me anymore about human nature when it comes to our animalistic needs (mainly food and sex). I just don't want to end up as a casualty of any mess or fallout. Good luck to you! Dust will eventually settle and fall where they need to, I'm sure. :)

tbh i dont get what your trying to say. ok its ok for her to be a nude cam model but your jealous lf it? and that you being jealous doesnt mean its wrong? tbh if that was my gf she wouldnt be my gf she would turn into an ex in a heart beat cause i understand thats her body she can do whatever she wants with it. but the idea of her sharing her body with some thousands of people doesnt sit well with me. i dont even want her to share her attention with anyone else but me, but sharing her body? nah its like having sex with different girls over and over eventually its nothing special and its just you having sex with girl after girl. same thing her being naked is nothing special cause the same guy that passes her on the street can watch her touch herself on camera. ofc i would be jealous

"You can be a slut without being a whore. A slut can be loyal, they're just horny and loves attention and sex. A whore is all that, minus being loyal." Man, your awesome. :) Hmm... I'm I the jealous type? Yes, but that because,I never let someone so "in" before haha. I have a jealous streak when he goes to meet up with pregnant women and then tell me the gender of the friends after their encounter. Sure, if the shoe doesn't fit I get jealous and force that damn shoe. Haha.:) But I have my moments where I can't feel any jealously not even a tiny little bit. Then some days I get jealous. I think the reason I only ever get jealous is if he gives me a good reason and make it obvious on something like if he look at another naked woman in a damn movie I wont get jealous cause it a movie but, if I find him googling eyes at her because of her naked scenes or re-watching that movie just to see her again. I might feel something..cause you know if your man get excited like a boy and get popcorn and set up his man cave and watch the same fucking movie and he tenses up at that part you know that shit is going get annoying as fuck lol.. Women get a lot of practice to get rid of that jealous trait of theirs thanks to movies always promoting hot girls in them. Plus, anime girls and video game girls. Lol...some women are used to it while other women will never be used to it and find that it worsens their's jealously. I haven't cheat on a dude but, have it ever crossed my mind while in a relationship yeah it did perhaps twice in my longest really long one. Guilt was the main reason that and I felt too much for him at the time...but when he gotten me incredibly mad the thought did cross my mind while we fought and argue I can't say it didn't. Also, I guess that makes me a loyal slut to my man cause I need attention with my sex and I have a high sex drive. <x'D HAHAHA...I'm a loyal slut...hahaha...

@panda-kun™ What does tbh mean??:/ Is that yet another teen slang?

*sparkling eyed excitement* people noticed my post! okay so, in the order that it was posted. @Sirubu, very true. Jealousy is more of a fleshy living thing. once you're dead its unneeded. @uninterested, I tried to share the song God will F**k you up because I thought my ex would find it funny. She got pissed at me when the lyrics "there was once a man named lot who had a wife he thought was hot" I got in trouble because someone found their wife attractive in a song I sent to her..... I really wish I was making this story up... @Ringo_Blue, yay! kind normal weird! I see, I can understand what you're talking about. The more I experience the less things bother me. I developed a stronger appreciation for certain details of my life that I either ignored or took for granted while also growing a thicker skin so things that once irritated me dont phase me anymore. Super Kudos to him for waiting. The thing I think that happens, with all of us, is around 16 or so we are still so wrapped up in our own perspectives and delusions that we completely ignore the possibilities of other meanings to events or people. when you realised all the issues and insecurities were unwarranted you stepped out of your skull and thought about it from his perspective. after that, the trust overcame the insecurities which lowered the jealousy levels. didnt stop them, but it lowered it. Dust only settles on the inside, if I open up and step outside myself I wont have any. :P @Panda-kunTRADEMARK haha, made myself laugh typing it out like that. Okay, lets see... Well first off, we can agree that for you its straight up a deal breaker. And its okay to feel that way. Now, again I have to point out the definition of jealousy is the fear of something or someone being taken from you. okay so, erm.... Stick with me here, it's worth it to read on. so lets say you are with a girl who is an iron chef skilled cook. every night she cooks you a meal that blows your mind and leaves you completely satisfied. She decided that to make a little extra money on the side she would broadcast herself cooking while explaining the steps to make the meal and chat with the viewers. Now, she isn't cooking for them, the viewers never get to eat the food she prepares. They just watch and tip her. You're the only one who she cooks for. She could easily cook for your bestfriend or your neighbors, but instead she cooks just for you. Now, you trust her, you know she wont cook for anyone else. but you are still paranoid that someone will come along and start talking recipes and ingredients in a way you never have and she will want to stop cooking for you and go cook for him instead. You still trust her, but you are worried she will find someone better. It's like that. I'm paranoid she will sleep with someone else, but as long as she is only mine she can tease and show off to any viewers. BUT thats just me, I've been to nude beaches and shared sex open air hotsprings. If you couldnt stand being on a nude beach with your girl, then thats not the place you take your girl panda. My views do not invalidate yours and you shouldn't feel the need to change yourself. Just find a girl who wont cam or anything, who meets your conditions and desires and cooks just for you with no side shows. Hope that explained it... somehow. @The Pervy Otaku, Haha thanks. Glad someone thinks I am XD You also bring up a good point, "women get a lot of practice to get rid of that jealous trait". Its human nature to size up people and look at them, but because its socially accepted that men are "the Horny Ones" its basically given full generations of boys who grow into men permission to be openly horny and perverted. Due to this, any girl who gets a boyfriend has to deal with that behavior while society tells girls not to be perverted and to be "Chaste". F**king religion, its what started that double standard bullsh*t. But oddly, women are the more sexually aggressive and control everything in a majority of relationships. And TBH is To Be Honest.