Dealing with loss...

So recently i've been trying to deal with the loss of a friend of mine and it's left me Guilt ridden for the past year. So Before i joined this site there was a friend of mine i use to Room-mate with and etc. Me and her were pretty close friends and new each-other for a few years prior. Anyway last year she took her own life because she fell into a deep depression; which i had no idea she was suffering from... I believe i should've known; although i guess she hid it from me because she was always that type of person. She was pretty intelligent and caring, Pretty neat girl... and i guess i've been guilt ridden for the past year, You see i knew she had a crush on me for the past year or so, but i didn't really see her that way because she was my friend and because i was recovering from a 'Break-up' that went pretty nasty, My problem is that i feel like i didn't do Enough to help or that i didn't deserve the kindness she exhibited towards me, i lived with her and paid rent and etc. I Feel like it was my fault in a sense because i did reject her a months prior and when they had the Funeral... i didn't attend or show-up for any of it because i was afraid and didn't wanna see her like that. That eats at me constantly to be honest. I wanna know how you guys deal with loss and guilt? and What should i do to help myself to move along?

First, forgive yourself. When a person decides to exit life, that's their responsibility alone just as it's everyone else's responsibility to respect the deceased's wishes and try to not judge them on the choice they made. You can try to understand why the person would have chose an out. You might try to put yourself in their shoes. Maybe it will enlighten you to some things you didn't know before. Past trying to gain understanding and doing that, it's just a matter of time. That's not to say "time heals all wounds"... It doesn't. Some wounds don't heal. What you do instead is build a tolerance to the pain and learn to live with the pain. The pain reminds you of how much you cared for the person. Eventually you will think about it less, the pain won't be as sharp.