The Love of my life is Asexual

My bestfriend and love of my life for 11 years now is completely Asexual. She has no interest in any kind of sexual relationship with me or anybody. We do everything together. Watch anime, go to cons together. She does love me, and i love her. But when it comes to anything sexual she gets really uncomfortable. After 11 years i have just given up trying to do any of that stuff with her because i know it just makes her uncomfortable. The only things she can do is a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I guess thats better than nothing. Other then the lack of sex, we have a great relationship. And no, she doesn't have some child hood drama or anything like that. Its just the way she is. Is there anyone in a similar relationship? Or any girls who are exactly the same way? I'm just curious.

I do not wish to sound harsh but IMHO (and all due respect) if she can not be your lover she is a better BFF than a GF for you perhaps. If you were Asexual it sounds like it would be perfect but I can't imagine you are if you have to ask this or 'given up trying' anything. Be honest with yourself, if sex is a genuine need for you, you need to be clear with your partner about it and think of options/workarounds. If your love outweighs your needs than go forth and be happy if you are happy. Otherwise if you are not actually dating her with the title committed boyfriend go out and try to date a little. 11 years is a long time to live in the desert without getting your lance waxed. I dated a girl once that did not like to have sex often because it was physically uncomfortable because she had a condition where she did not get very wet down there when aroused. We used other ways to pleasure each other. The asexuals I know still have sex with their SOs sometimes and derive pleasure from it, this girl almost sounds phobic to intimacy IMHO.

Honestly, I was just curious if anybody else was in a similar relationship. That's all. I forgot to include I have dated and been with other girls during that 11 years. But I still Love her more then any of them.

Why would you date other girls if you love her? You don't seem very committed. Does your love for her outweigh your lust? I would advise you to find someone else if you want to be in a sexual relationship.

So you're just in it for the sex? Well hell man, I don't know what to say other than your relationship is better off stuck where it is. I mean sure, sex is good in a relationship, and dating the person you love is better. But you're not going to go anywhere with your current mindset. Life's not like a Romance anime, it won't play out like you want it to all the time. Either wait for her to be ready or break up with her and date someone who would instantly want you to get in a sexual relationship (super rare catch). But you can ignore this comment if you want to. It's your choice on how your relationship will go, man.

I don't get the feeling that he's particularly resentful of the fact that she's asexual. I feel like he's just wondering if anyone on the site is either asexual or an asexual who is in a relationship with someone who isn't. I dunno, @nakobass will have to clear it up :/

Thank You Xueli, You understand what I'm asking. I Love My friend more then anyone in the World. She's more precious to me then anyone. I'm just trying to see if there is another girl out there that is the same as her, and get their prospective. Also my friend knew all the girls I have dated and completely fine with it. Which I will admit has cause some problems with the other girls, because they feel I value her more then them, which I do. I don't lie to any of them. I've honestly been more intimate with my friend then all the girls I have had sex with. Eventually all those relationships ended, but she has always been there for me. SHE'S WAY MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THEN SEX! If it was I wouldn't have been around her for the last 11 years. We really are family. Let me try to make this clear, I just want to know what it's like for other Asexual girls or guys in a similar situation. That's all.

Im asexual, and she sounds almost like me. Key word ALMOST. I dont think or chase or even lust over the idea or act of sex. However if the person im with wanted to i would just do it but it would be more about satifying them to me. The only way i see her willing to have sex is to have a child.(and thats only a guess...) if you love her you would just have to deal. However i have heard of men and women who have and are married to asexual ppl and have a "open releationship", in other words cheating with consent.

Thank You Six. I think my friend is the same way. She has tried some things for me. But i just stop because i can't stand to see her in any kind of discomfort. I actually asked her if i could cheat if we ever get married. She said NO, LOL! That we would be married then. I know our relationship isn't normal, but i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

I mean, honestly, if it works for you it works for you. But I think definitely keep a healthy and open level of communication between you two about what you each need from the relationship and recognize that sometimes, if it does become an issue not saying it well, love doesn't always mean it'll work out. But haha, this is true for all relationships :p Good luck!