Virgin Talk

elder_reaper, I'm not too worried about divorces (and not just because I'll probably never get married), if anything I feel like divorces are more likely to happen in people who have been around the block more. I think that someone who only has relationships with one person their whole life is gonna be much less likely to cheat on them than someone who has already done it countless times before. I mean, who would you trust more to be the designated driver, the person who's an alcoholic or the person that never drinks? Manga_bird, yeah I suppose that makes sense. Still I think the physical side of things matters, after all it's sleeping around that cases the spread of diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Besides, how many people would say they're comfortable being in a relationship with a former prostitute? Even if they made that agreement to commit to you, would knowing they've been with hundreds of men/women before hand not bother you in the slightest bit?

Your analogy is apples to oranges. Cheating is the result of three things: No communication, no satisfaction and no compatibility. I drink, does that mean I shouldn't drive? No it doesn't because I know the time and place to drink is when I'm either going to be sober by the time I'm behind the wheel or I'm at home anyways so I don't need to go anywhere.

I'm not sure; it might bother me that they will have been with a lot of possibly more attractive women, so I might feel insecure in that sense. I don't think being a prostitute makes you more likely to cheat than anyone else really, so that wouldn't concern me really. I don't know that I'd date someone if they were still a prostitute because that's just me. I really don't know if them formerly being a prostitute would be an issue for me - I tend to fall for people without thinking about complications ¬ ¬

elder_reaper, I'm not saying everyone that drinks is a drunk driver, or that everyone who goes into a relationship without being a virgin is gonna be a cheater. I simply mean they're more likely to keep doing something they've already done before -in contrast to- someone who has never done that before. Maybe a better analogy would be; who would you be more worried about robbing your store? The repeat offender former convict, or the guy that never stole a thing in his life? Manga_bird, the prostitute example is just an extreme of course. I'm just trying to show that the physical side of things matters at least a tiny bit, but yeah there is that issue of insecurity mixed in there too.

"I think that someone who only has relationships with one person their whole life is gonna be much less likely to cheat on them than someone who has already done it countless times before." I agree with that statement only because someone who hasn't slept with multiple partners may not know how good sex can be therefore they won't likely notice any sexual shortcomings in their partner. I essence, "Ignorance is bliss." Just like a starving person will think any mediocre food is the best thing in the world.

@Manga "I'm not sure; it might bother me that they will have been with a lot of possibly more attractive women, so I might feel insecure in that sense." I can see this viewpoint. I don't think you personally have to worry, you're hardly lacking in the looks department. Personally I feel that if someone is so selfishly particular about looks that they have to be with someone that is the pinnacle of physical perfection, then they aren't worth being in a relationship with.

I really deride your viewpoint on this, neet-one. You're being an idealist, and idealism is something that simply doesn't work. Realism is the best policy, and I think that having sex before marriage is fine. Using a condom & spermacide if you're a guy, and birth control and Plan B if you're female, are the best ways to prevent pregnancy from premarital sex. Use 3 out of the 4 and your chances are sub .01%. I'm saying this because with most here not having a lot of experience with relationships, sexual compatibility is important. I dated a girl once who was into bukake. Seriously. She was a smart, intelligent and worldly person, but she liked being put in the bukake role. I knew I couldn't do that, so I cut the relationship off. Sex is important, and the sooner you realise that, the sooner you'll be in successful relationships.

Here's a question? Why not lose your virginity to someone you love? Sex is part of or should be part of a relationship because to me that's the strongest way to tell someone you love them. People have sex for different reasons..mine? I want it to be with someone I love and hopefully one day marry. Don't lose your virginity just for the sake of it. I had a friend who was so desperate to lose it he hired a pristitute. Thr next morning he woke up and saw written in red lipstick on the mirror "welcome to the world of STDs" so to me losing my virginity I really want it to be special. Also any type of sex oral, regular or whatever..the best this is to have it with someone who loves you. Back to my experience with the married women, why did I not have a sex with her, well 1. For obvious reasons and 2. Is why would I want to lose my virgibity to a women who doesn't love me??

Yeah but say maybe someone thought they were going to be with that person for forever, they lose their virginity to them and then it doesn't work between them. People do change, even if you've been with them for five, ten, fifteen, even twenty years. I mean, just having sex to me isn't right. But sometimes it just doesn't work. Some people turn in to a whole different person when they're married as well. You just can just never know what life is going to throw at you.. may as well dive right in to that storm and embrace it.

"Here's a question? Why not lose your virginity to someone you love?" Nobody is saying you shouldn't. I thought I was in love my first time when I was 21. That relationship lasted 6 months, she cheated on me and then when I took her back she broke up with me for the guy she cheated on me with. But I do think it is naive to automatically believe that just because you wait till you're in love, that it has any chance of lasting any longer. In fact she may actually be dissatisfied with you if you can't sexual satisfy her due to lack of experience. Of course you can go around looking for another virgin. I knew some asshole guys when I was younger who would only sleep with young virgin girls because they knew those girls would fall for them because they themselves were good in bed and essentially enslave such girls and toy with them as long as they wanted. Merely because most girls tend to associate the ecstasy or orgasm with the ecstacy of being in love, particularly when they are young and naive.