Why are we to blame?

In my view, it seems that womans are greatly mistaken about what is a nice guy. The guy that hide well or never discovered his own inclinations because its nice look, and never have been alone, is definitivelly not a good one for inexperienced girls. He have no experience with simulations of life, never read romances, never play fantasies...will hurt right on the real world. The good looking guy lived few fantasies in this, and have bad habits to be discovered at late time, in wrong places. Is very simple. We have two main tendency roots: Agressivity or Passivity. Two inclinations that creates all other types. If you see, you fit in one side, don't be proud of that. Just use it well to be good, and not to hurt and destroy your and other people future. Nice guys? Probably the one you never noticed. The friend you know for long time that had a crush on you. Or just the contrary, the one that never looked at you directly, so much he loved you. Or that one that needs some help with aestetic look, sometimes is just because he never felt loved. But don't cheat on him, he is potencial dart vader, because is pure and have much love to give. You don't want such ammount of love energy converted into hate darkness. Is what created assassins. The smart girls joking with lovely otaku heart purity, is just like to put Plutonium cristals inside a open atomic reactor. Its sad reality. I confess that I'm actually very sad about girls. looking more the guys. And enforcing girls to experience with girls. For girls looks matter so much, but they never realize that, what matters really is inside. How good is to see a happy otaku that you know and like, doing his crazy stuff. It will take years before you understand. I'm 35,and proud otaku. Maybe I know what I'm talking about. Bye. I did much for them today. I need sleep. Too much talk, few will read. Fools, please keep being fool.

Girls do not have a good judgement on nice guy since they usually care about appearance above others. Let's take an interview an example that there is no way a person will hire you when they don't know who you are. So the first thing they check is your appearance and your way of dressing also your speech. Before they can go deeper level in relationship that is how girls thought "okay this is a nice guy, he is cool, smart and nice appearance. After they tried it they notice that this guy is not nice. Girls judge guy based on book by its cover. They cannot tell who is good or bad. They go for the most basic search for nice guy by appearance. If you want to change how you are, you have to approach them without expecting love relationship. After get to know another then you propose and see if she want to go further than friendship. I know is suck for guys who is nice but not handsome or hot, this is what makes girl choose before learning personality.

I've learned the hard way that there's a difference between "nice guy" and "punching ball". From what I've seen, those guys are either a tad to clingy, which is creepy or act like mere servants and are either friendzoned because of it or taken advantage off. Then again, personally, I'd rather remain in the friendzone than to start acting like "Chad" lol.

The whole 'girls' don't have good judgement because they care about appearance. That's a pretty narrow view. Human kind as a whole has terrible judgement. Why? There are actually many reasons. One is simply because people often judge a book by it's cover, not just women. Hell, men are actually more prone to judging by appearance than women. That's just a fact no matter how much you try to twist things. Second, it's not a person's dialect that people judge, it's how they express themselves in that dialect. For example, you can have two people from the exact same area, and speak the exact same dialect, but one's tone of voice is far more aggressive than another. Another would be their body language. People tend to feel insecure more often than not if a person is more aggressive with their stance compared to feeling careless when someone is passive. Another issue is humans dislike change, people are scared of change. When something starts to break apart and form into something else, people tend to fear it. Mans greatest progress as well as setback is the unknown. Some people are naturally more prone to break and want to have things stay the same. Maybe that girl or that guy has only known assholes their whole lives. Maybe they're scared if they find a 'nice' guy, they'll instead turn to be a total dick. People are visual, they want to be able to see expect something without fear of anything different. Humanity as a whole is flawed, you can't just be bias and say women are to blame. Nothing works without equality, nothing ever works right when one tries to blame the other for it's own problems. Also, the thing that's called 'friendzone', is total bullshit. That's a lame excuse to get out of something.

I agree with @Crino9 leo_ss. When you put your crush (or women/men in general) on a pedestal and treat them as a prize for your "niceness" instead of seeing them as the person they truly are, to them you are not on of the nice guys. Your the jerk it's all a matter of perspective, no one sees themselves as the villain. Why spend time being objectified by a "nice guy" when you could be talking to people who are intelligent and genuine, maybe in real life or even on this site.

Still going on? On @Silver viewpoint Agreed I have said time after time on this site that friendzoning in itself is essentially a false generalization to make a justification for why you did not get girls or whatnot. It harms both parties by creating a girls cant think of the right man they want viewpoint. Whilst giving the so called nice guys a reason to not do anything themselves to help the current problem. Not to mention in any aspect a true nice guy the legit definition is one who is nice to "people" not a specific gender to net a relationship or interest because being nice does not mean you are going to get a reward or that persons affection. In all this whole friendzoning comes back to a bigger problem one that I have my attention on moreso then most. Instant Gratification which to a lesser extent may not be bad but the current way we have it set up is pretty much causing multiple problems. If you want more info though just read my previous post on here on that. Its a bit of a long response so I apologize in advance. Also miss lisa I agree with you on that.

yeah, people who whine about friendzoning. Sooo not attractive. I don't know about anyone else but that raises huge warning flags for me.

From personal experiences, all the "nice guys" I've met have been the most dangerous, be it physically or mentally. They believe themselves to be such good people by comparing their best side to the worst actions of others, building the belief that they're better without truly caring to see the good in the "bad" person. The constant narcissistic comparison is not nice. The "nice" guys are the ones that have been the most dangerous to me, and I won't go into personal detail as to why or the events, but it's a red flag when people say they're the "nice" guy and like Xueli said, whine about it. The dependence that these types show is not only unattractive, but it's self-destructive and it leads a person to feel guilty for leaving such a dependent person. If guys are so upset that girls keep "friend-zoning" them or choose a "bad guy" instead of them, why not try this: Look in the mirror, forget the physical appearance. Look deep into yourself and reflect onto the type of person you've become. Then, without your own biased opinion, ask yourself, would you date yourself? Why or why not? What do you need to improve on? What do you need to embrace? Always strive to be better than who you are today, the right woman will come along. And if she chooses someone else, move on. Don't become a bitter person, respect their choice, because bitterness is not attractive, but the maturity to move on and take the rejection in stride will always be looked upon with respect.

I feel the same for the most part rebecca My two cents on if you are a nice guy and want a relationship feeling as if you cant get one. Heres some advice Stop worrying about getting a relationship to get it. Instead focus on what "you" want to do interest pursuits . Whatever you may think is the case I am going to tell you right now that relationships that are built on one person being the center of happiness for the other is likely to fail. If you go into a relationship expecting that person to be the thing that makes you happy you are in a sense being unfair to the other. Giving out all these expectations and whatnot. So what you can do is be happy with yourself as it is with a relationship being a part of that and thus being able to give that happiness to the other person as well. When you are happy with yourself relationships become more about finding the right connection rather then sifting through automated procedures just to gain somebody. Nice guys or at the least the ones that fall into this category play victim to this dependency on a person wanting a relationship for a relationship. So stop and think for a minute, despite what media tells you that relationships are the thing you should seek and have look at yourself and what it really wants. In all honesty for the young ones here specifically less older then late 20s you should not be in any rush. Its common belief to believe we need somebody within that age thanks to what we see in entertainment and media but its really not the case. Theres nothing wrong with being single during that time and in fact its a better time to focus on you. Whilst your still maturing and whatnot. If you happen to meet somebody that connects with you then thats good as well.

Here's the lesson, kids. Don't claim to be anything other than you and if you can't be happy with that, then a relationship may not be what you need...Relat...Relation...Relationship... Relate: 1 :to give an account of :tell 2 :to show or establish logical or causal connection between Relation: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected; a thing's effect on or relevance to another. What's the common theme? It takes two, baby! It takes two, baby! Baby, me and you. It takes two. Want all you want, but that's all you'll end up with. I'd like to think any relationship ,friendship or otherwise as an addition or completion of the whole, but not the whole of it's self.