Anxiety and Fear

@kitsune I actually am completely with you on this. In fact if anything as I mentioned in a thread to talk about yourself I have a terrible presentation of myself. When it comes to speech I am completely bad at it. Besides speech patterns which I am not so liking about myself. I tend to stutter when I try to say whats on my mind. I am analyze a situation to its core so that only amplifies the problem that I have via making overthink all the little things I am doing. I am definitely working on improving this but its a slow improvement if anything.

Sounds like our issues are fairly similar. I had actually 90% overcome it once, and was doing quite well. Then a couple years ago I relapsed and almost couldn't speak. I don't know if it's the same for you, but in my case it seems to be almost entirely psychological. I found that when I had built up my confidence I reached a point where I had little to no anxiety and could speak quite fluently. In my public speaking class back in undergrad, I was literally one of the most comfortable speakers. It's a bit frustrating now that I can't easily replicate that yet, especially when I can speak with great fluency with no one around or to specific people I'm comfortable with. I don't know if it'll help you out, but for me it seems that building up confidence and self image again is the best thing I can do. I've got confidence that once I work out the issues I've got I'll mostly recover again. Perhaps you've got some things you aren't satisfied with holding you back as well, either consciously or subconsciously.

Yeah that happens to me when I am knowing a person a while or myself I could talk quite fluently but around others my stuttering and other speech issues start turning on. So I would agree it is mainly psychological probably stems from being put inside most of my life that and I if I had a opinion that resulted in a different view other then what was given to me I would be told to be quite so to speak. Also that is something I am trying to do thanks for the advice^^

I have a history of social anxiety issues stemming from asking for help from people behind counters. This included everyday things like ordering food at McDonald's, choosing to answer the phone when it was a number I didn't know, answering the door, making small talk with the mailman, and using public transportation alone. I was terrified of having to do these things by myself because of this skewed view I had of my chances of "failure" or committing a social faux pas. Then I left ~400 miles up north to attend university, and it went away. The problem was that I had become too dependent on my family of nine, because we never went ANYWHERE outside without being in a big group, and as we lived in a bad neighborhood, parents never let us be by ourselves. This led to all of us becoming passive and allowing my dad to lead the group, driving us places, and making necessary transactions as part of our outings. The difference in my demeanor now was catalyzed by a realization that my parents weren't around anymore to talk shit about how I functioned in public. I'm fucking great with Bay Area transit now and it feels nice. It was helpful to pick up and memorize some of the line directions and which ones function on the weekends/late at night. After I used BART a few times I felt much more confident in myself. I think one tip that could help others out is to be aggressive and know everything that you're doing like the back of your hand. Might also be beneficial to not have parents smothering you. (we're a young family and I'm the oldest, therefore the role model, so this might not apply to just anyone.)

Weeeeell this is a long topic in my life I usually get this kind of issues with phone calls, store clerks, strangers and oh surprise! <s>women</s>. This usually makes random hardships in my life but not big enough to actually think of it as a real problem. Some of my favorite scenarios are when my family asks for something or when I have to hear one of my father's monologues i just say whatever or nothing at all, well to be honest I get like this with a lot of people, but I think that's just my stranger anxiety because once I am with people I really feel easy with, I like never shut up (I should probably fix that). I have some theories on the origin of this: well I grew up on a hostile enviroment, got bullied at school even by the first years when I was a 5th grader (but always fought back until 7th grade), got bullied really bad by my 4th grade teacher (they fired her tho) got bullied at home, got bullied at my rich kid and religous middle school because I was poor, an atheist and loved pokemon, then I got transferred to a not funny mexican version of cromartie high and did my best to not catch attention of others, luckily it worked and I never got attacked, but some other kids actually died, it was shitty... Add the rat hole of a country where I grew up, lots of dangerous people, I got assaulted more times that I can count so I just stopped playing outside, and the economy is also bad, my mom had to work 12 hours a day with no off days so we could have a decent life, but yeah she was always angry and calling me things like stupid and useless when she got home (which stopped once I started getting good grades) so yeah, I got a lot of insecurities, I still keep some but not as bad. And with women, that's a tricky one I don't understand, I mean I have a good number of female friends but that's it, some kind of a twisted male version of the friendzone I can feel comfortable with, but when I try to socialize with a new girl or someone I feel some kind of attraction or when my brain perceives them as an available and legal member of the opposite sex I just become king akward, can't look them in the eye, make lots of small movements, spaghetti comes out of my pockets and I look at my cellphone a lot, even in my first and only confession back in my senior year of high school I was literally shivering and sweating cold frozen in place, thankfully I was just <i>slightly</i> stuttering. I also get these long "what can I talk about" pauses and when I hear girls laughing I get the classic thought that they're laughing at me. And I have no idea why I get these kind of stuff, I grew up surrounded by my aunts and their daughters, I live with my single mom, when I was a first grader the 5th abd 6th grade girls went borderline shotacon on me (nothing sexual), my eldest brother girlfriends and my older by 10 years female cousins just didn't let go of me because I was "too cute", when I reached middle school lots of girls started confessing to me, at first I thought they were just being evil teen trolls because that's what I learned from american movies, I mean I was just a silent mass of lard sitting in a cold corner playing the newest pokemon game, what's so attractive about that?, but after a couple of years I found out they werebactually being serious but I was just lacking interest because my mindset was still one of a kid (it's funny because once I got into high school I was interested in women but they stopped doing it). I even got 2nd place as the ugliest guy in class on my first semester of high school, I know it's stupid but it affected me baad. But yeah, sorry for reminiscing a lot and not getting anywhere. Nothing really relevant aside of having problems to speak with my crush has happened on the recent years, but that's my story on the topic.

haha Julio you make mexico seem really shitty I mean at the very least is as half as shitty as you described it

But on topic, I can't really relate since I don't have anxiety towards meeting and conversing with new people. (Exams on the other hand....) I think the only times I've really dreaded having to talk to someone about relationships is whenever a guy friend of mine asks me out and I know I'm gonna turn him down. it's nerve-wreaking because I don't wanna hurt his feelings, but I really don't see him like that. Sometimes, they take it well and well... sometimes not so much. It's the possibility of the not so much that kinda makes me afraid every time I see a guy gearing up to confess to me :/