Dating and feelings

I am not new to dating at all. But my relationships always ended in failure because of the fact that the other person was not putting in their forth effort to make the relationship work. I tried my very best to make all my relationships work. Also, why is it so hard to try and get a guy to date you, and likes anime? can someone explain this to me. I know we all want that perfect guy/girl. I am still single and wishing to be in a relationship. it is a big thing for me to be in one, and i know i am a genuine person when it comes to a relationship.I just wish i wouldn't be used anymore. What are your thoughts and feelings? This is a place of caring <3 so feel free to spread your emotions all over this forum post!

Hmmmm, well personally, my relationship now (I met my boyfriend on this site) is what I consider my first "true" relationship. We are in a long distance relationship and have been dating for over 8 months, so we both HAVE to put effort in otherwise it would fall apart. I live in Wisconsin and he lives in Maryland. We do get to see each other on a somewhat regular basis though (at least once every couple months). I am moving to Maryland in August, I wouldn't be able to do a perpetual long distance relationship. I knew when going into it that if one of us didn't relocate EVENTUALLY, it wouldn't work out. I'm not moving to Maryland for him specifically though lol But for college. He said if I ended up going to the Twin Cities in Minnesota, we could still keep up our relationship. I'm not suggesting to go find a long distance relationship, they can be really hard. You have to be up for one. Just telling my experiences :) Anywho~ Perhaps because you are so desperate for a relationship (it somewhat seems like you are one of the people that always HAS to be in a relationship or they don't feel complete) you attract the wrong types. It seems to be that you find the best relationships when you aren't desperately searching for one. You can be keeping your eye out for one or whatever, but its never good to show your desperation. People pick up on it and often will take advantage of you. I have had friends that end up in those relationships time after time. I hope this helps a bit.

I use to be like that when I was in high school. When I was 15 I was in my first relationship with someone and unfortunatly we only lasted a month. What happened was that we had liked each other and then after about a week or so it started to go downhill. I ended up cutting (this was a wake up call to me aftereards that I needed to stop looking for a while) after about several months later, I was found by my second boyfriend. I cannot exactly remember as to how we met but I do know that we both liked each other a lot. Our relationship lasted 4 months before I broke up with him. Half way through the relationship I stopped being noticed by him, never got any respondence from him. I treated him with the utmost respect and loved him dearly. I broke up with him after his birthday. It was a tough decision, but I didnt want my heart broken again. Ive dated several guys and although they were all very nice, I was not attracted to them. After leaving high school and being in college, I have learned a lot as to what are my priorities in a relationship. But a part of me said one day to stop looking and so I have stopped looking for a boyfriend. I much rather i am focusing on my friends and career. I have said that if a guy came my way and liked me then I wouldnt hesitate. However I still need to be able to focus on the important things in life right now, so if I were to be attached to a guy I really liked, I would become anxious because I just don't have the time right now. As for long distance relationships. I have tried them before and they don't work for me. Too much anxiety. I've worked out most of my kinks when it comes to hoe I view a relationship and what I want it to be like. It's more realistic now than back then. No one's perfect.

Yeah, I'm glad you realized it though. I had the problem in the past that I would always start liking someone if I noticed that they liked me. I don't know why, but ever time I would get the wake up call of, crap, I don't find them attractive... I think I started liking them because they were a "safe" option. I knew they wouldn't reject me, etc. I never DATED any of them, only made out with a few. I always feel really bad afterwards (except the ones that were kind of douche to other girls) because I KNOW I led them on really strong because I was interested but realized it was for the wrong reasons.... yeah... anyways, then I met my boyfriend and I found out what it was like to truly like someone (now love, but hey, you don't love someone when you first start dating). It took me until I was 18 to figure all that out.... ugh.

I've been in that kind of relationship; a girl I was dating didn't put much effort into the relationship. When there was a problem or argument that I didn't even start, I was the one who had to fix it. When I had a problem, I had to fix it. When she had a problem, I had to fix it. Granted I was her first boyfriend and she didn't know what to do in a relationship, even though she was (3 days) older than me. I always had to find out what's wrong and play detective, while I openly stated if there was a problem, if it was a major issue anyways, if it was small I'd just quickly fix it.

It took me a while, probably until I turned about 18 or 19 years old when I realised I just have to go with the flow of life for now. I have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I will be meeting amazing and new people at the next college I am going to apply to and hopefully get in to as well. I want to finish my bachelors degree and make something of myself first before I settle down with someone. I have a very outging personality and I am extroverted most of the time. I am that person you can come to if something is wrong, I try my best to help and be there for those who have no one and etc. Almost like a therapist eithiut the charge! My help is free cause I love my friends. I think just having friends and being abe to live my life is where i'm suppose to be. College puts a lot of strain on ones soul if you can't manage a relationship and school. However if I lived on campus that would be a different story because I could possibly meet someone while at school. If it's true love it'll work its way in somehow. It is though very unfrotunate that since my first two relatiomships didn't go so well through high school, I sort of have these mixed emotions and so it's hard to not keep my guard up, while in the relationship, anymore. I am working on it though, and have successfully been able to handle my feelings and emotions. One cannot learn without patience and understanding of the guys they date. Or even analyze the situations.

It's always a crazy hard experience. It can be really rewarding if you find someone who clicks with you on all the right [important] levels. I'm in the same boat on the effort bit though. Seems like most of the dating pool these days aren't willing to go as far as I am, and that really sucks. To me, there's no such thing as too clingy or the like, because it usually just means they care an awful lot. I can't tell you how many times I fought for things to work out and gave 110% only to get 5 in return. It sucks, and it hurts. But you know, if you want it bad enough, it will never matter how many times you get hurt. You'll feel miserable for a little while, and then you'll keep looking because it's like A-1: It's that important. Good luck bro. :)

Rotolotto you are amazing and I love you for that statement. We could all learn a thing or two from each other. Knowing we aren't alone is a good thing. We tend to think that whats affecting us or going through isn't what others are going through, when in actuality, we are all going through similar or the same situations. I also believe you on the 110% part. I had that same issue with all my relationships. Im a dedicated boyfriend~ and also I am with you on the important levels aspectn I know what I want in a relationship, all the RIGHT things, not just being together so you can use me or have sex with me. Our generation is kind of notorious for promiscuity, hook uos, and blatant things.