Single Otaku - Tell me why?

@andrue, I agree with your sentiment that with many otakus, it is an "us vs. them" mentality. At the anime club that was at my school (disbanded at the end of last year) that I actually founded when I was a freshman with my then friend group, was exactly as you had discribed the ones that you had been to. I stopped going once I got back from Germany. Those friend also dropped me. They just had childish personalities and everything was someone else's fault. they didn't want to grow up either. I think perhaps that is the reason why they got into anime, because they are, as much as people into anime like saying otherwise, cartoons, just cartoons that often have a deeper plot and more adult topics discussed. For those that are wanting to stay childish inside, it is a good way to do so. These friends were also into normal cartoons as well. Their "us vs. them" mentality was not just about anime, it was about EVERYTHING. I really don't understand. @jiko, yeah, and because I'm generally a really nice person, I just can't be rude to people, so I like to let people off easy. The problem is, occasionally there is a person that just will not let you do so and then I end up feeling like a dick. :/

Canti, I completely understand. I am a Mexican. I speak fluent spanish, and I am functionally proficient in Japanese as well. I got expelled from school when I was 15 for bringing a razor blade and threatening to kill the people who bullied me. It sucked worse than anything. I was both very much into punk rock, and anime. Then and now, I hardly find people to relate to. Do you know how hard it is to find an anime fan who doesn't just know Bleach, Naruto, or One Piece? It's so hard to relate, which is why most people don't even care to have any interests besides what is considered to be normal. I feel like relationships in particular shouldn't be based on mutual interests alone though. You can't seek out women who exclusively like the things you like, it's a selfish way to get involved with someone. It basically sends the message that you are asserting your personality over theirs, which is an instant turn off to women. My girlfriend didn't know anything about anime before she met me (She never even played Pokemon as a kid!!!) nor does she like most of the music I like, or activities I involve myself in. But between us, our sense of humor and the experiences that shaped us are what built our relationship and made it much stronger. Now we share many of the same interests, I am much more into crafts and cooking because of her, and she loves J-Pop, Vocaloid Music, and has been watching Lucky Star and Madoka Magica with me, as well as building Gundam Models and cooking asian food. It would seem ideal to find someone who likes all that stuff right off the bat, but if you are searching for someone exclusively based on their interests, which are ones you developed based on your own path in life, you will never find a woman. No two people are exactly alike, and if they appear to be, they probably hate each other. I never thought being a chubby nerd who spends their free time scanlating and collecting dusty VHS tapes of shows no one has ever heard of would be able to land a girlfriend, but it's possible, I promise.

Alexis, It's just very frustrating that someone who on the surface appears to be someone you could talk to about something you love can be so callous and selfish. I really do hate to generalize, but I have never been able to discuss this with people because no one in the otaku scene has ever really given me a chance. It seems unfair. I didn't fit in with normal people because of the things I liked, and then the people who liked the things I liked shut me out either. It left me in a weird place, which I know many of you can identify with. I really appreciate all of you guy's input, thank you.

@andrue, yeah, I know what you mean. I have been able to find a few people that I can connect with, but generally with the people I meet through anime, I just talk about anime and the japanese culture. I have never fit in either, though, so I am quite used to having friends from all different groups and just showing that side of me when with them. The only person I really talk about everything with is my boyfriend and my best friend Mitchell.

In regards to being single AND otaku. In my big huge circle of friends male otaku tend to actually be popular... But they tend to like Asian chicks that are from Asia. The dudes that aren't otaku in my huge circle are way too shy. They're usually students from Japan, and I'm not pushy or open about my feelings really, so I just end up alone. Plus, with them being students they tend to only be here until they are finished with school, so they end up going back to Japan. So, for me, I just go "Oh... I mean... I would rather just have them as a good friend." I wish I could take cues from my dude friends! lol

@andrue at school i never got bullied really so i got lucky there but i also have a problem of other anime fans who not knowing wat anime i am talking about because i like anime that are harder to understand like Neon Genesis Evangelion and Serial Experiments Lain or its a rather old anime that they may hav never had the opportunity to see (Macross, Patlabor, even Mobile Suit Gundam) so i understand that very well. As to the relationship thing, i hear you there i would like my girlfriend to have some of the same interests as me but its not a must, i just want to be excepted and listened to (broken record right there).... my hobbies do make up a majority of who i am at the moment and the rest tends to be a ball of crazy with some enigmas thrown in for spice :)

@jikokunseviltwin i agree with you completely and have noticed the same thing before....

**My question to you, is why you think that otaku become lonely, outcasted, and eventually lose hope on love, life, and everything else.** Well I think that most otakus aren't fortunate enough to get to travel all over the place to meet lots of other otakus, most are stuck in dead end jobs, have self esteem issues, are depressed, live in small towns with little chance to socialize with people of similar interests, I think that's what most otakus yearn for. I admit that I have major depression issues, I hate the way I look, I'm homeless and work a full time job that doesn't nearly pay me enough to even be able to afford to keep a place. I've come to terms with the fact that I might not meet someone who would be interested in me because of all this, so I guess you could say that I have "lost hope on love, life, and everything else".